Hello!

[Zoe F.]

Hello everyone,

I'm a newbie to the forum, which I was glad and relieved to find. I'm hoping to get support from/provide support to non-judgmental folks. When my relationship with my narcissistic and abusive partner ended a few months ago, I found that my "friends" thought whatever happened to me was deserved for entering the relationship in the first place. This made it difficult for me to even acknowledge what happened, being stuck in shame for a long time, and still occasionally going there.

Thank you for being there!

[Andrea1501]

Hi @Zoe F.

Welcome to the AS forum. I am sorry that you have been through such a difficult situation with your partner. I am also sorry that you didn't get support from your 'friends'. 

Shame is hard to deal with and does not belong to us, but needs to be placed firmly on the abusers. I hope that you will find the support and validation here that you need.

Thank you for offering support, this will be needed and appreciated.

 

[Breeze]

Hello I am sorry for what has happened to you as well.  I am also quite new and so far have found loads of great advice and supportive people.  I am sure you will find the same.  Welcome. 

[WannaMoveOn]

On 10/27/2022 at 5:47 PM, Zoe F. said:

Hello everyone,

I'm a newbie to the forum, which I was glad and relieved to find. I'm hoping to get support from/provide support to non-judgmental folks. When my relationship with my narcissistic and abusive partner ended a few months ago, I found that my "friends" thought whatever happened to me was deserved for entering the relationship in the first place. This made it difficult for me to even acknowledge what happened, being stuck in shame for a long time, and still occasionally going there.

Thank you for being there!

Hello Zoe! I am Wanna

I am glad you have distanced yourself from that person. Whatever happened was undeserved. Many people here have first experience with abusive relationships. We do not judge, we believe you. You can share whatever you'd like, at your own pace. After Silence provides the opportunity to feel less alone, exchange support and feel the sense of a community.  

 

When involving with narcissists, they tend to strategically make you feel safe and special, only to gradually insert their manipulation. It is difficult to realize when being in the relationship, it might take years after to understand. You are not alone. Nobody blames you.

Feel free to message me or any staff member of choice with questions, for support or some company!

All best, W ☀️

Edited October 29, 2022 by WannaMoveOn

[MeBeMary]

Hi Zoe and welcome.

I am so sorry for all you've been thru and the struggles you face. It was undeserved and unfair. You have found a very supportive site with many understanding and kind members. You are not alone. 

Abuse and abusive relationships are often not taken seriously or turned back on the abused person. Victim-blaming is far too common in this world, and many don't understand or want to understand. It's easy to tell others to say you deserved it...but nobody goes into a relationship thinking "how can I find and be with someone who will hurt me?" Abusers know how to manipulate, and they will continue to manipulate until they make a person feel trapped.

"Friends" don't judge things they have no comprehension of. I'm sorry they did not support you. Support is something you deserve. You will not have that same problem here. We are here for you and your experiences are validated. 

I am glad you decided to reach out. Feel free to look about and join in where you feel comfortable. Wishing you well on your path of healing.

Mary

 

[patriciag]

Welcome to AS 

[smiley_3]

Welcome @Zoe F.! I'm glad you found your way out of that relationship. You didn't deserve what happened to you. I'm sorry your "friends" weren't supportive. I'm relatively new to this community, but have already found it to be very supportive and validating. I hope you have the same experience. 🙂

[S_Sundance]

Welcome ZoeF, we're glad to have you. I'm sorry for your mishaps but you can get knowledge support and love here. Take your time looking around and know you're surrounded with firm support.

 

[Six_times_seven]

welcome to AS @Zoe F..  I am sorry for what you have been through but I am glad that you found us.  You have found a place we’re many come to give and receive support.