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About FeelingsAreHard

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    Kansas, United States
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    Animals, Cars and Piano

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  1. FeelingsAreHard

    Here goes

    I am sorry you went through that... but you are not alone... If you ever wanna talk feel free to message me.. I was raped by a stepfather and my bio mother from ages 8 to 17 and physically abused by my first step father from ages 3 to 8 and then molested by the same man who came back to rape me from ages 2 to 3... sorry for the backwards order. I've been struggling with alcohol, and self destructive thought and actions... I am so sorry you have a reason to be on this site but like I said if you ever wanna talk please feel free to message me..
  2. FeelingsAreHard


    I get it... sometimes it isn't as cut and dry as others think it is... I couldn't run either and others don't understand why. They try and tell me that I should have ran and that's what they would have done... but they aren't me and they didn't see or experience what happened to me.
  3. I had another anxiety attack yesterday and this time everything is different. I feel different. All I wanted was for everything to end. No one understands me. No one understands how I feel or why I do the things that I do. and Some of the stuff I do means nothing to me because it just became the normal for my life but others try to read into it. Some peoples words cut me even when they don't realize what they're saying. I feel like something actually broke inside me.... I did something I have never done before and no one knows about that either. I just keep thinking how differently my life wou
  4. @soulpaws thank you. I am gonna go try and help out my family and try and take my mind off some of this right now.. its just a lot to handle all at once.
  5. I am still fighting the memory that came back to me the other night. Last night was very hard for me and I feel like I am going through an emotional roller coaster. I am so shocked and hurt and I just couldn't believe that after everything that I knew I had been through, that it could get worse... I couldn't believe I had been through more than I previously remembered. I tried to reach out to a friend and he just tried to tell me to focus on the now and basically leave the past in the past. Which I know he has no idea what I am going through and he just wants me to survive this and be ok. But
  6. So I was hanging out with one of my old friends the other day and we were just driving down the street no big deal when we past a street that I've past a million times before. Except this time it was different this time, I remembered something that I didn't want to. The name of the street is morningside... this is where My bio mother her friend and his girlfriend and I lived when I was two years old. Which I knew, no big deal right... well the problem with that street is; the guy we were staying with wasn't just my bio mothers friend... It was the man she later marries and sexually abuses me w
  7. yes I would like to get in touch with someone to try and create a connection with someone ... you know to kinda fight through this with. I also dont know how to do that...
  8. Thank you very much for all the kind words this really helps me feel welcome.
  9. Hello, I am new to blogs and support groups and all of this so I have no idea what I am doing. All I know is that my mom told me finding others who have been through similar troubles and are experiencing the same emotions now would help, sooo here I go. Nobody in my family knows that I am finally reaching out. I don't really know how to do this or what to say or whats appropriate or not all I know is that I am so tired of not having anyone to talk to about my past. I thought that if I pushed my past away hard enough that I could pretend that it never happened and for a while I believed it to b
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