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Hm

Survive95

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So apparently I have a face that I make when I start having one of my “moments” where I just kinda start freaking out inside. I never knew I had one tell it was pointed out to me. Now I feel like I have to be more aware so I can try to hid it even more. 



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Were you upset? how did it make you feel to find that out? 

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I was at work and I started to freak out cause I saw a man that looked similar to my abuser and when I went to go help a cashier she asked me if I was okay that the look on my face had changed and of course I told her I was find but then one of the girls I work with knows what has happened to me and knows about some of my freak outs and she also said I had the look on my face that I get when I get that way I wasn’t really mad at anyone I was just like dammit I have to hide it better I wish they would of never said anything cause now I’m walking around paranoid and feel like I have to keep smiling even when I’m on a verge of a break down 

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On 3/13/2018 at 3:02 PM, Survive95 said:

I saw a man that looked similar to my abuser

happens to me too:(

 I wish they would of never said anything cause now I’m walking around paranoid and feel like I have to keep smiling even when I’m on a verge of a break down 

do you mean like, i know what i feel can't i just function?

When they mention it do they mean to show concern? Would you want people to care about what happened to you? Personally I've needed people to care (though most people never do) 

But truthfully they are not usually ready to care that deeply, they just care on a shallow level, because they don't know what happened to you. Do you feel like hiding your feelings in front of the girl who knows about it?

 sending support. 

if you feel uncomfortable about all the questions please tell me

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It’s like I’m wearing a mask that I can’t take off because I’m always faking all the happiness I have if that makes any sense. I know they do but it still makes things awkward for me. I want people to care but I don’t want them treating me like I’m some fragile little girl that can’t handle anything I’ve made it this far in my life with no help and I can make it even further I’m just having a hard time doing so right now. I try and hide so much from the one that knows and it’s crazy cause she knows I am hiding something from her and she’ll ask and I’ll just not answer I don’t want it to be like the only thing I ever want to talk about so I just avoid talking about it to her I don’t want her to think I’m just weak or I’m extremely depressed because I am I just don’t want it to show to the whole world 

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