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Posted (edited)

Hey everyone I'm curly, not really sure what I'm suppose to put here because this is very new to me and has taken a few days to decide to post this. I'm a male CSA survivor in my 20s, I didn't think I would ever speak about my childhood,  but about a year ago a separate incident when the one support in my life let me down and I had a mental breakdown during a fit of depression what had happened to me just slipped out since then I have seen 2 Therapist and began talking with my partner and a few close freinds about my childhood, I guess this is my next step. I have found talking about it helps. I had a difficult childhood and i have lots of blanks in my memories but I also have some very vivid memories over the years  and I hope this is somewhere safe where I can find support and provide support to others keep safe and keep healing thank you in advance for having me 

Edited by CurlyK
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Welcome @CurlyK to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  Take your time exploring and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

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Dear curly

 

I am sorry for all that you have been through.   You have been so brave in reaching out to us, please know that this is never easy!   We are all here for you and we want to support you.  You're not alone in your healing journey and are always welcome to lean on us for extra support.  You can post as much or as little as you like.  We are here to support you in the way you need.  I have found this community to be very helpful.  Everyone is so understanding and non-judgmental and I am hoping you feel the same way once you've gotten to know us a little.   

 

All my best,

missfrier

 

 

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Welcome to AS, @CurlyK! I'm glad you found your way here, though I'm terribly sorry for what you've experienced that led you here. You'll find a lot of really supportive and friendly people in this community. You're not alone. ❤️ I'm sorry again for what you've been through...but that is good you find talking about it helps. Talking about your trauma can be very difficult but also therapeutic, so I'm proud of you. Take your time exploring the site. Best wishes!

-Finch

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On 5/27/2021 at 11:29 AM, CurlyK said:

Hey everyone I'm curly, not really sure what I'm suppose to put here because this is very new to me and has taken a few days to decide to post this. I'm a male CSA survivor in my 20s, I didn't think I would ever speak about my childhood,  but about a year ago a separate incident when the one support in my life let me down and I had a mental breakdown during a fit of depression what had happened to me just slipped out since then I have seen 2 Therapist and began talking with my partner and a few close freinds about my childhood, I guess this is my next step. I have found talking about it helps. I had a difficult childhood and i have lots of blanks in my memories but I also have some very vivid memories over the years  and I hope this is somewhere safe where I can find support and provide support to others keep safe and keep healing thank you in advance for having me 

Hi there, CurlyK,

Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry for the trauma you have endured as a child. It was wrong and undeserved. You will find support here, as we have many understanding and kind members. You are not alone.

Sadly, memory can be affected, especially for children. It is not something that is easily processed and the brain does strange things to protect us. I know this personally. I know the frustration and the struggles, as many here do. It is a safe place to share and interact with others...but feel free to take your time and look around. There is never any pressure. I wish you well on this journey we call healing.

Mary

:supportu:

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Dear @CurlyK,

Welcome to After Silence.  I'm sorry that you have cause to be here, but I'm happy you found us.  This is a kind and supportive community full of people who understand what it is like to carry difficult memories (or sometimes, the lack of them).  

Talking about trauma and knowing you are not alone are both very helpful.  This is a kind and supportive community that can bring lots of comfort and healing.  

Wishing you comfort and healing,

Gold Raindrops

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Thank you all for your lovely responses, I really appreciate it as sometimes I can feel very isolated, esspecially inside my broken brain. I really appreciate all the kind words, and look forward to hopefully getting to know some of you alittle better :).

Thank you @MeBeMary memory can certainly be a mystery sometimes I just wish I could remember all the things I have been threw to take control over them yet other times I'm just greatful I don't need to deal with each individual incident. 

Thanks @mini.finch I felt like for so long I had a huge secret, and by keeping it secret I pushed people away. Even though I was being myself, i still constantly felt like I was pretending to be somebody else. I find talking about it although difficult is freeing,  and the more I talk about it the more I realise all the bad things I once believed would happen i ever spoke about it are actually just another part of the abuse. 

Thank you to everyone one else that replied, I appreciate you all I will e take some time explore and hopefully continue to find everyone as kind and supportive as you all are. And sorry for the late reply i have been away for a few days. 

All the best Curly 

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