Jump to content


Welcome to After Silence - A message board and chat room for rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivors.

Welcome to After Silence, a message board and chat room designed to help survivors communicate in the recovery of rape, sexual abuse, sexual assault, and all types of sexual violence.

After Silence has over 30 different forums, ranging from topics created to discuss specific areas of healing and recovery from rape and sexual violence, as well as forums open to general discussions and lighter topics. Because we value the privacy of our members, most of our forums are private, which means that ONLY REGISTERED members have access to them. Please register for a free account to gain full access to the After Silence Online Support Group.

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us at aftersilence.org@gmail.com
Guest Message by DevFuse
 

Photo

Negativity On The Boards


  • Please log in to reply
22 replies to this topic

#16 sadeyes22

sadeyes22

    Friendship is a blessing that many people take for granted!

  • Acting Moderator
  • 7,437 posts

Posted 19 May 2007 - 05:04 AM

Haullie,
Thank you for being so encouraging smile.gif.. I agree that it is very difficult for all of us to see eachothers points of views on certain topics but like you said respect is such a major thing here. For me if I see something I don't agree with I just let it go because I respect that everyone has a right to there opinion it's just that sometimes that opinion is expressed in away that may offend someone else and then people's feelings get hurt.

I myself feel that the mods and Admins do a wonderful job here. I feel very safe here which is something I never thought I could feel on a site like this. I know that all the rules that are put in place are for our own protection and I totally respect all the decisions made on this board. I could never thank you all enough for all the hard work that goes into keeping this site going and for keeping us safe. I love everyone here and have found alot of comfort in being here. I hope that everyone will continue to encourage eachother to grow and that we can put all the bad stuff behind us. Thanks again for your encouragment.....

hug.gif hug.gif

Sad

#17 Becky

Becky

    There is Hope

  • Contributing Member
  • 9,929 posts

Posted 19 May 2007 - 06:41 AM

hug.gif Haullie hug.gif

Well said flowers.gif

#18 AmyLyn

AmyLyn

    free at last

  • Banned
  • 0 posts

Posted 19 May 2007 - 10:46 AM

Haullie,
Thank you. smile.gif hug.gif

flowers.gif tealribbon.gif

#19 -fuerza-

-fuerza-

    it's been a wild ride, I wouldn't change a minute.

  • Member
  • 419 posts

Posted 19 May 2007 - 10:49 AM

QUOTE(Haullie @ May 19 2007, 02:48 AM) View Post
5.) People who strom out of the chat room or forum because they get upset about the mention of a certain word, topic or are just too stubborn to ask a simple question is just rude and confusing to other members who in the aftermath feel like they did something wrong to that person when in fact they are just being themselves. I honestly think that is just a person's way of getting attention and let's face it, that's something we never talk about for fear of offending someone but it's something we should talk about. Seeking attention is not healthy. Why do people do it? Do they think we don't notice? Do you think they don't realize what they are doing? Well they do, and I think people are VERY aware when they do it and it's selfish. I am not trying to sound mean or anything but it's just something that has to stop.


i think this is attention-seeking issue is an excellent point, haullie. i've been wondering how to bring it up for some time now, for all the reasons you mentioned. i want to add to what you said by saying that i get very frustrated and feel a whole variety of negative feelings when members come into the room to simply say that they are "stupid/worthless/unimportant/insert whatever other self-hating word you want", and on a continual basis, and expect the rest of the room to coddle and encourage them for the entirety of their time in the room. while we all struggle from time-to-time with negative self-talk, bringing it up in an unconstructive and attention-seeking way only serves your (the general you) purpose and neglects the fact that other members may be in chat for their own reasons.

i wonder if, in the same way that we should try to think before we post in threads, if we could also take pause for a moment before we say things in chat, to avoid that impulsive blurting. thinking about what you're saying, wondering what purpose it's serving, asking yourself how it may affect others, all simple respectful measures. as it would be in a person-to-person face-to-face conversation, you would, hopefully, take that second before diving in to what you want to say and take into account how that message is going to affect it's receiver.


let's all be gentle, with ourselves, and each other.


peace&strength
<3 fuerza

#20 mackieandi

mackieandi
  • Member
  • 116 posts

Posted 07 June 2007 - 10:08 PM

Hi

I am really confused really extremly confused okay I think maybe I am taking this out of context so I will say how I understand it and if I am wrong cause I am not perfect please help me understand but okay what I am hearing is do not post if your a member that is new or is struggling. Am I understanding this correctly cause I would consider myself both so I shouldnt post? I am just really confused im sorry im not trying to be a baby but I really do not get it .

Angela

#21 heathbar

heathbar

    Healing is a choice that we must do daily

  • Member
  • 2,548 posts

Posted 07 June 2007 - 10:36 PM

no there simply saying that we shouldn't argue and put each other down in chat or in posts.

#22 mackieandi

mackieandi
  • Member
  • 116 posts

Posted 07 June 2007 - 10:52 PM

Thank you so much heath for helping me to understand it I thought maybe I took it out of context that is why I thought I should just aske. Ang


QUOTE(mackieandi @ Jun 7 2007, 09:08 PM) View Post
Hi

I am really confused really extremly confused okay I think maybe I am taking this out of context so I will say how I understand it and if I am wrong cause I am not perfect please help me understand but okay what I am hearing is do not post if your a member that is new or is struggling. Am I understanding this correctly cause I would consider myself both so I shouldnt post? I am just really confused im sorry im not trying to be a baby but I really do not get it .

Angela


#23 drowning000

drowning000

    carpe diem

  • Member
  • 3,164 posts

Posted 07 June 2007 - 11:22 PM

Which is a good example of what they are trying to achive here.

Mackieandi didnt understand a post, if the post hadve suggested that you shouldnt post if you were a newbie or struggling, I doubt i wouldve been the only one offended as I'm sure mackieandi wouldve too.
Instead of getting angry and expressing that through attacks of a personal or general matter she simply asked for clarification.
I think we can all learn from this example.
Thank you mackieandi for the way you handled your thoughts and feelings about this thread.