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WHAT IS RECOVERY?
Stacy Nordquist, M.A.
I. Recovery is actively taking responsibility for how you live your life today.
2. Recovery is being able to put the past behind. It’s no longer having
your childhood script dominate how you live your life today.
3. Recovery is being able to speak the truth about your growing up
4. Recovery is the process in which you develop skills you weren’t able
to learn in your childhood.
5. Recovery is a process, not an event, often beginning as a result of
a professionally directed treatment or therapy, or experiences in
6. Recovery is no longer living a life based in fear or shame.
7. Recovery is developing your sense of self-separate
from survival/coping mechanisms. Your identity is no longer based
in reaction, but action.
8. Recovery-is the process of identifying, owning and developing
healthy ways of expressing feelings; it is the process of learning
self-love, self-acceptance. From learning these new ways a person
often learns how to set healthy boundaries and limits, To get needs
met, to play, relax, and develop flexibility.
9. Recovery is the process of learning to trust yourself and then trusting
others, and with trust comes the opportunity for intimacy.
“It is true that as long as we live we may keep repeating the patterns established in childhood. It is true that the present is powerfully shaped by the past. But it is also true that…insight at any age keeps us from singing the same sad songs again.”
Judith Viorst, “Necessary Losses”
It is not possible to be honest in the here and now when you continue to discount and minimize your childhood experiences.”
--Claudia Black, "Changing Course"
The following is an excerpt from a book that Lisa D. is currently writing regarding her recovery entitled "Fine Lines":
1) RECOGNIZE that self-injury is an inappropriate, uncontrollable and a dangerous coping method.
2) TELL someone you trust exactly what you are doing. Let the secret out.
3) REACH OUT for professional help
4) CHOOSE to replace self-injury with healthy coping skills.
Those were the initial steps. Below I have listed many steps during my recovery process, some of which, I must practice regularly:
· Acknowledging what happened to me, giving up the denial and letting go of the shame and blame
· Taking responsibility/accountability for who I am and want to be
· Therapy and addressing the right issues
· No more secrets
· Learning to let go of obsessive control
· Forgiving those who have hurt me
· Forgiving myself for hurting me
· Learning not to take on the responsibility for others actions
· Recognize when I’m losing perspective and self control
· Learning to love, respect and have compassion for me
· Regaining my spirit and zest for life
· Accepting the positives in life and letting go, but learning from, the negatives
· Letting go of the need to prove to others that I am worthy; accept that I am worthy
· Daily Affirmations