New

[redhead]

I'm new. I guess I need to do an intro?

I'm 22. A year and a half ago some stuff happened with the guy I was dating. It shocked me when he freaked out a week later and asked if I was going to press r**e charges. The thought honestly never occured to me until he said that.

Since then, I can't sleep. I fight it. I'm scared to sleep. I don't sleep sober. I take sleeping pills or drink or smoke pot, but even then I fight falling asleep. I have nightmares. I wake up shaking and crying. I get scared if guys get too close to me, especially older guys. I never want to have sex. I cry a lot.

He came back to visit a year ago. I had a full blown panic attack. I get a momentary panic if I see his picture or name.

I've struggled with an eating disorder for 11 years now, but was somewhat managing it till this. That has "relapsed," so to speak, bad since then.

I know I need help. I can't afford therapy right now. I don't know what to do from here. But this seems like maybe a start.

[BlueWings]

:waves:

Firstly, welcome here! Everyone is so incredibly angelicly kind and sweet here; they're like family you've never met!

Feel free to share your story and pains anytime you want. I feel like I was/am in the same boat as you. My "story" came from my ex as well, and I do remember him asking me the same question, but it was in a more violent-threatening way, of course.

If you're unsure of what to do 'round here, just have a look at some of the others' threads in the different forums.

But, welcome! We're happy you're looking for a place to heal, and, boy-oh-boy is this the place!!!!!!

[dodo]

Hi and welcome to AS

best wishes

karen

[sadeyes22]

I am glad you have found this site it is such a wonderful place for support. Everyone here is great and always willing to help in any way they can so please don't be afraid to ask if you need anything at all. I look forward to seeing you around the boards... Take care

Sad

[angelic]

welcome to AS. You will find a lot of support and friendship here , take care of yourself and see you around......Paula

[teazle]

Hi and welcome to AS

I hope you can find what you're looking for here

take care of yourself

teazle

[Survivor01]

Hi Redhead, welcome to AS. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time right now. I know what it's like to need therapy but not be in a position to afford it ~ been there a lot! Not sure where you're based but ~ have you tried your local rape crisis centre or women's centre? Or if you're in college or anything there should be a counsellor based on campus. I understand how hard it is to do this on your own.

At least posting here is a way to get things out and receive support. I hope it brings you what you need.

Take care,

Reyzl

[sisterinsurvival]

Yahoo, !
We love you, and are glad you've found AfterSilence!

[melissa]

Welcome to AS

There's much friendship and support to be found here.

See you around,

Melissa

[-Nicole-]

Welcome to After Silence

I am sorry to hear you are struggling, but I hope that you will find support and others who understand how you are feeling here.

Nicole