Need advice

[Unsurewhat2do]

When I was around 6 my babysitters brother watched me for an afternoon along with his two nieces. I remember it perfectly along with him. It was unusual for us to take naps but he had his nieces go into their room and had me go into his sisters room. He made me nap naked and I “wet the bed” In my sleep. I’m in my mid 30s now and all during my late teens and early 20s I searched for this man. I found him. The older niece has become somewhat of a friend of mine and her mom often sends me pictures from when I was small. I want to confront this man but I fear what will come from the family and also ripping apart the innocent family. I’m not sure what I should do 

[missfrier]

Dear unsureofwhattodo

I am sorry for all that you have been through.   You have been so brave in reaching out to us, please know that this is never easy!   We are all here for you and we want to support you.  You're not alone in your healing journey and are always welcome to lean on us for extra support.  You can post as much or as little as you like.  We are here to support you in the way you need.  I have found this community to be very helpful.  Everyone is so understanding and non-judgmental and I am hoping you feel the same way once you've gotten to know us a little.   

All my best,
missfrier

 

[WannaMoveOn]

25 minutes ago, Unsurewhat2do said:

When I was around 6 my babysitters brother watched me for an afternoon along with his two nieces. I remember it perfectly along with him. It was unusual for us to take naps but he had his nieces go into their room and had me go into his sisters room. He made me nap naked and I “wet the bed” In my sleep. I’m in my mid 30s now and all during my late teens and early 20s I searched for this man. I found him. The older niece has become somewhat of a friend of mine and her mom often sends me pictures from when I was small. I want to confront this man but I fear what will come from the family and also ripping apart the innocent family. I’m not sure what I should do 

Hello Unsurewhat2do 

and welcome to After Silence! I am Wanna

This is a safe place to exchange experiences, cope and create a support system. 

I am sorry for what brought you here, please know that none of it is your fault. You are doing the right thing by speaking up and seeking for support. Confronting this person should only be your choice, but please know that he is the one to take the consequences of his actions, not you. Whatever happens next, After Silence is here for you. This platform invites you to post whatever you would like about your experiences and healing journey. Feel free to browse the site and do not hesitate to ask me or other site mods questions. 

Take care and once again, welcome! ☀️

[snmls]

Hi and welcome to AS. 

I'm very sorry for the trauma you faced, but I'm glad you found the site and decided to join. This is a safe and supportive community and we are all here to help each other heal. It is never too late to start the healing process. 

I can understand your concern about not wanting to hurt the family, but what you need to remember is that any hurt that is brought upon the family will be the result of his actions. You did nothing wrong and did not deserve what happened to you. It is your choice whether you tell them or not. It is a personal decision that you will have to make on your own, but whatever you decide is okay. There is no right or wrong choice as long as you are doing what is best for you. Please know that we are all here to support you. Don't be afraid to reach out for support. 

[MeBeMary]

Hi Unsure,

Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry for what you went thru, but do know you have found a very understanding community. Our members are kind and understanding. You are not alone. You did nothing wrong and I'm angry a grown man would do this to you at 6. But there are grown men that sadly do this.

Confronting an abuser is such an individual choice to make. Where it can give you a voice and say YOU WERE WRONG TO HURT ME, it can also create other issues. The world is getting a little better, but there is still a lot of catching up for it to do. You might be received with doubt or anger and in a good chance of denial from your perpetrator. If you feel in the right place to do this tho, you will have our support.

I am glad you found our site and decided to reach out. You are not alone. Take your time to look around the site. Wishing you the best as you travel your path of healing.

Mary

 

[8888]

Welcome @Unsurewhat2do to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  Unfortunately I don't have any advice to offer on this manner as my abuser died when I was six years old so my situation is a little different.  However, I want you to know I support you in whatever you decide.  Take your time exploring here and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

[EvilRegal]

On 7/5/2020 at 9:03 AM, Unsurewhat2do said:

When I was around 6 my babysitters brother watched me for an afternoon along with his two nieces. I remember it perfectly along with him. It was unusual for us to take naps but he had his nieces go into their room and had me go into his sisters room. He made me nap naked and I “wet the bed” In my sleep. I’m in my mid 30s now and all during my late teens and early 20s I searched for this man. I found him. The older niece has become somewhat of a friend of mine and her mom often sends me pictures from when I was small. I want to confront this man but I fear what will come from the family and also ripping apart the innocent family. I’m not sure what I should do 

I am heart broken for what you have been through. I understand the wanting to confront him, I can't tell you how any times I wrote letters to my abuser and other family members that knew and did nothing, and just burned the letter instead. There is just something freeing about that. Maybe you will find it helpful.

Warmly ❤️