Hi everyone!

[Sabbymo]

Hi everyone, I Want to find support from people who understand what I have been through. I am hoping to find peace and healing through your support!

I was abused my my grandad on my mums side and my cousin on my dads side. I told my friends when I was a teenager and was bullied at school for it, as they said I pretended to be raped by my cousin. I told my younger sister when I was a teenager and she told me not To talk to her about it again. I started cbt 2 years ago and deciddd during it to tell my mum. I told her over the phone and then didn’t see her in person for about 3 months as I live in a different country. Soon after that my mum became anorexic and had 2 heart attacks this time last year. I have feelings of guilt but also annoyed at my mum for failing to protect me as a child being abused. I have been suffering from almost daily dizziness for over a year and I think it is linked to subconscious anxiety that I have had since I was 6 years old and being abused. Anyone else similar? 

[missfrier]

Dear sabby

I am sorry for all that you have been through.   You have been so brave in reaching out to us, please know that this is never easy!   We are all here for you and we want to support you.  You're not alone in your healing journey and are always welcome to lean on us for extra support.  You can post as much or as little as you like.  We are here to support you in the way you need.  I have found this community to be very helpful.  Everyone is so understanding and non-judgmental and I am hoping you feel the same way once you've gotten to know us a little.   

All my best,
missfrier

[girlsnz]

@Sabbymo

Welcome

I've  never experienced dizziness, but I  believe we all handle the anxiety resulting from the abuse in our own way. We all find ways to protect ourselves from the horrible things that have happened to us. 

You are incredibly strong.  You survived the abuse and had the courage to tell your friends and your sister, and your mother.  I'm sorry that they didn't support you. I've never had the courage to tell anyone about the abuse until I was in therapy for several years. I still have not told anyone in my family of origin about any of the abuse.

[MeBeMary]

Hi Sabbymo,

Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry for the trauma you've endured at a child and sorry you haven't anyone for support. You will find that support along with much understanding and kindness here in our community. We have a great bunch of memberss here who, both fortunately and unfortunately, can relate. I think most of us do crave the understanding that perhaps nobody else can give us, other than another survivor. You are accepted and validated. What happened to you matters, as you matter.

I don't really think any of us know why parents fail, if by abuse or lack of protection from abuse. It is a fail tho, as every child deserves to be protected and loved unconditionally and without hesitation. You deserved that.

As for the dizziness, I would suggest having it checked out. Constant dizziness can be attributed to many medical issues, not just anxiety. It would probably good to at least mention in a check-up, so perhaps there is a solution to this.

I am glad you decided to join our community. It's always a big step to reach out to others. I do wish you many of steps forward as you continue your path in healing.

Mary

 

[8888]

Welcome @Sabbymo to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  Take your time exploring and post when you are ready. 

I have dizziness a lot.  I take psychiatric medication and my doctor seems to think it's a side effect of that but it very well could be the anxiety itself as well.  However, as Mary said it could be from another medical issue too.  I was sent to a cardiologist and a neurologist due to dizziness just to rule other things out.  It also could be an inner ear problem or possibly something else but I am not a doctor so I cannot give you a diagnosis.  I suggest you speak to a doctor however.

Again, welcome and if you have any questions feel free to message me.

Edited May 31, 2020 by 8888

[goldraindrops]

Dear @Sabbymo,

Welcome to After Silence.  I'm sorry for the experiences that brought you to us.  It can be especially devastating when abuse happens at the hands of family members, people that children feel like they should be able to trust.  

There are many here who know about the physical symptoms that can come with abuse.  I don't have dizziness, but many of us have headaches, trouble sleeping, or other physical difficulties.  It can help to bring it up with a trusted therapist and a trusted doctor.  

I am glad you found us.  This is a kind and supportive community full of people who understand.

Gold Raindrops  

 

[Sabbymo]

I’m crying from the lovely responses you have sent me. I had my second counselling session this morning and cried a lot there too! I have been to see doctor and had ent, mri scans and audiology before( sorry I forgot to mention it). One told me it was inner ear imbalance, another told me it was vestibular migraines... but I think it might be linked a lot to the anxiety and I’m trying to live mindfully, which can be difficult but my toddler ensures I try harder! 

[Poppy_]

Hi, @Sabbymo - 

Welcome to After Silence! I'm terribly sorry to hear of the abuse you endured and that your mother didn't protect you when you were a child. I'm also sorry to hear that you were bullied in school and that your sister was not someone you could confide in. I have also had people that have learned about what happened to me and were completely dismissive and unsupportive - I know how much that hurts. 

I hope that you are feeling welcome here and that we are able to support you the way you deserve! If you need anything, feel free to message me any time  I'll be here whenever! 

Best,
Poppy