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Hello,

I'm a disabled veteran mom of two beautiful children. I'm going through a divorce from my estranged husband. He managed to get temporary custody (long story I'll get into in a different thread). When our daughter came home from spring break, she said some very concerning things that made me question my husband and I relationship. I ended up calling CPS.

The CPS person said what was going on sounded like grooming. I always blamed myself for everything that happened in our relationship, so I decided to get a second opinion with an advocate yesterday. She opened my eyes and suggested coming here to get support.

So, here I am trying to begin telling my story. It's not as bad as others, but I think telling it will help me while I fight for custody to get my daughter away from his psychological abuse. It may also help me build the case, though I'm sure I'll be asked why I'm bringing it up so late during proceedings. I'm terrified I won't be believed.

That's the short story. I'm grateful for this forum. It's nice to meet you all.

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Hello @Peacefuldaydream - 

I wanted to welcome you to After Silence.  I too am a survivor of psychological/mental/verbal and emotional abuse by my ex-husband.  Believe it or not, it took me YEARS after our divorce (it was back in 2009!) to realize that this was a form of domestic violence.  I'd always categorized domestic violence as being of the physical kind, but have come to understand that the silent form of DV is potentially much, MUCH worse.  Physical injuries heal, but the psychological ones last a very long time.  Adding to what I already know I have survived (rape, possibly CSA), this was an overwhelming new thought to have to process.  

So, I understand where you are coming from.  I'm so sorry this has brought you here but am hopeful that you will find that the people here are truly supportive, wonderful and kind.

Please don't hesitate to look around all of our forums, and do take your time in getting your story out.  There's no rush at all.  You need to keep yourself feeling safe.  When you are ready, we will be here to listen.  

Again, welcome.  Looking forward to getting to know you.

Best wishes,
Capulet

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@Peacefuldaydream Hello and welcome to AS!

I am glad you found our site, although I'm sorry for what brought you to us. As a mother myself, I just can't imagine how stressful it would be to learn that my daughter was being groomed.  I am sorry you are going through this and I wish you all the best with the custody fight and with working through all the abuse.

:notalone:

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8 hours ago, Peacefuldaydream said:

Hello,

I'm a disabled veteran mom of two beautiful children. I'm going through a divorce from my estranged husband. He managed to get temporary custody (long story I'll get into in a different thread). When our daughter came home from spring break, she said some very concerning things that made me question my husband and I relationship. I ended up calling CPS.

The CPS person said what was going on sounded like grooming. I always blamed myself for everything that happened in our relationship, so I decided to get a second opinion with an advocate yesterday. She opened my eyes and suggested coming here to get support.

So, here I am trying to begin telling my story. It's not as bad as others, but I think telling it will help me while I fight for custody to get my daughter away from his psychological abuse. It may also help me build the case, though I'm sure I'll be asked why I'm bringing it up so late during proceedings. I'm terrified I won't be believed.

That's the short story. I'm grateful for this forum. It's nice to meet you all.

Hi Peacefuldaydream,

Welcome to AS. I am very sorry for what both you and your daughter have gone thru. It was so wrong and unfair to be put thru and still to be going thru these things with such an abuser. You will find this a very supportive site with many understanding members. I wish you the best as you journey down a safe and healing road for both you and your daughter.

A brief side note...thank you for your service.

Mary

:supportu: 

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Welcome to AS @Peacefuldaydream, I hope you feel heard, understood and supported. Wishing you and your daughter all the best on your paths toward healing 

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