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About MamaL

  • Birthday 07/13/1964

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    Colorado USA
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    WE have been SAFE for a few years now and it is wonderful. The people here are great and this site helped me very much. I create beaded butterflys and bead knitted pendent bags. I clean and cook for my kids. We all have PTSD problems. I am isolated with just kids here and need to connect with adults and type (to speak without the kids hear me) about my adult feelings, fears for Arthur and his cousins and such so I joined this forum. Fred Newell of Steward NE and his pack o' pedos (including Jerry L Shook of Hasting NE raped me and my baby) and still try to blackmail me into silence with photos of the attack; I still talk. John Walsh and Sheriff Joe Yocum may not exactly approve - but they know exactly WHO I AM.

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  1. I smiled at my youngest and he smiled back.
  2. Hello Im a single mother to three children but since two are grown I take care of the youngest now. Welcome to a safe place to tell the truth Be at peace and know you are welcome.
  3. Welcome back to aftersilence. The love and acceptance and free speech is why I keep coming back myself. Rough patches really hurt sometimes... healing our souls one day at a time precious one.
  4. To Jerry: Time to Join your Father! To Jerry's Father, the Dead Donald: Glad you suffered before dying! To my "uncle Fred": Judge This you whimpering coward! To "uncle Fred" pedo porno pals : Got plans for you too! To Joe: What happens when I come HERE?
  5. Hello and welcome to AS After Silence I have found a good resource here and I think you will find many good people here.
  6. Hello and welcome to AS. I have PTSD and I struggle with my new damaged self full of rage and without mercy because I know wwwwwaaaaaayyyyyyyy too much now to be the trusting loving person I was and am supposed to be. I find alot of strength in other survivors because I want to feel like more than a victim some day, soon, in the future, sometimes now, soon, etc. See you on the boards.
  7. Hello and welcome to AS. I think you will be helped by finding others who understand just how bad, bad can really feel. They have helped me alot. Happier times are what you really deserve and we all support each other on those really bad days too. See ya on the boards.
  8. Hello ! I am glad to meet you. Welcome to AS it has helped me to be here and I think you will be enriched and encouraged also.
  9. MamaL


    Welcome to AS. I know I have had a good experience and this site helps me alot. I think you will be glad to be here too. See you on the boards soon.
  10. Hello and Welcome. I am new and have found alot of kindness and hope and wishing you the same.
  11. You came to the right place. Im new here and have found so many willing to listen and care. You are helping her as much as you (I hope her mom mellows out with the not helpful stuff soon) Some people just care about the presentation of perfection more than the actual rape recovery repair that is less perfect, less pretty, and way less healthy. My best to you.
  12. Thank you for welcoming me. I so needed that special understanding at this time and you have been there for me. This connection is very valuable to me and I just wanted to acknowledge how important you are in my life now. Thank you for helping me and hearing me which just doesn't happen much in my "outside" life. Thank you.
  13. MamaL

    Been Awhile

    Hello Im new here and I need to be quiet and not talk sometimes and other times I want to feel connected and heard. I do still want to be me, only the me who was not hurt and scorned and is still silly and fun, and she isn't here all the time anymore since "it" Admitting it even to myself is still hard, Thank you for letting me type what I don't ever say. My best to you.
  14. Hello and Welcome I wanted to thank you for sharing and I want to tell you that it is never the fault of the child no matter what. Not being able to tell, to put the experience and fear into words, the lack of confidence in others who I think should have protected me is a situation we both share. After all that it IS scary that he is around at all still. I think you are smart and brave to join up with this group I want to comfort you and reinforce the idea that you are special and deserve to be safe right now. Those people are the shameful ones who hurt others and he is the shameful one who hurt you. My best to you now.
  15. Welcome and thank you for wording it so accurately and clearly. You had to push down alot of normal reactions and expectations to get to puberty and beyond yourself. Maybe you are feeling some of that long ago unacknowledged pain right now and it is affecting you now because when you were little you couldn't express your experience. My best to you.
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