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Capulet

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Posts posted by Capulet

    New here,

    in Public: Welcome!

    Posted

    Good morning @Petunia18 - welcome to After Silence, where so many others can truly relate.  I agree it is very scary when we try to put into words how trauma has affected us long-term.  There is no right or wrong way to do it - as long as you take it at your own pace and are comfortable.

    Take as much time as you need to look around and browse our community.  I am sorry you have reason to be here but do hope that this wonderful group of survivors can provide you with comfort and validation!

    Best wishes,

    - Capulet

    I am new

    in Public: Welcome!

    Posted

    Hi, @Peace Lilly and welcome to AS!  

    You're right on point with your introduction. :) I'm so glad you are here for support - this is a very kind and loving community and our members certainly are wonderful.  I hope being here brings you peace and comfort and of course, healing. :) 

    I am sorry for your loss of your fiance.  Please accept my sincerest condolences.  I am sure nobody here can fill that void, but we definitely hope to make you feel less alone.

    Sending you all my best,

    - Cap

    Dipping my toe in.

    in Public: Welcome!

    Posted

    Welcome to AS, @rebelliouslyhopeful - I agree, it is sad that we meet under these circumtances, but it is my hope that being a part of this amazing community will bring you peace, comfort and healing.  Dipping your toe in is the absolute best way to start the process....take it all at the pace you find to be best for yourself.

    Looking forward to getting to know you. 

    Best wishes, and again - welcome!

    - Cap

    Happy to be among you

    in Public: Welcome!

    Posted

    Welcome to AS, @ZiggyStardust - I am sorry for the circumstances that have led you here, but am glad to hear you have begun your healing process....a process it is, indeed!  I am confident you'll find our community to be supportive and that you will find that you're not alone, here.

    Wishing you all of the best!

    - Cap

    Hello, fellow healers! Grateful to be here...

    in Public: Welcome!

    Posted

    Good morning @Karma1122 and welcome to AS!!  Thank you for sharing your daughter’s artwork.  She is extremely talented. :)  I cannot imagine how proud of her you must be!

    I hope that being among our community brings you peace, comfort and healing.  It truly has done so for me, and has made my journey run smoother.

    Looking forward to getting to know you!

    Best wishes,

    Capulet

    New here

    in Public: Welcome!

    Posted

    Welcome to AS, @misha!

    So sorry you have reason to be here, but this is truly a great community. The folks here are very supportive and I hope that being here brings you comfort.

    Wishing you all the best in your healing journey!

    Best,

    - Cap

    Hi everybody - baby steps.

    in Public: Welcome!

    Posted

    It’s nice to meet you, Grim, I am called Cap on here - got to love the nicknames that we pick up in life - sometimes I feel my nickname fits me more than my given name!  Thank you for taking the time to introduce yourself.  I really think you will like it here!

    Anyway, I welcome you to After Silence.  This community has truly helped me to heal from my (various types of) abuses and it is comforting to know I am not alone.  The support is overwhelming, here - and the connections I have made are truly priceless.  I hope you find that the same is true for you, too.

    My best wishes,

    - Cap

    Hello

    in Public: Welcome!

    Posted

    Welcome to AS, @cryinginside - you are among many who understand what you are going through.  Take your time exploring the site - I truly hope you find the support you seek!

    2 hours ago, cryinginside said:

    I am currently trying to find a therapist just not how to to find the right kind

    You can always ask your local hospital, crisis resource center etc for a therapist who specializes in sexual violence/trauma.  Sometimes it's hard to find a good therapist just by looking up therapists in the area - you definitely want one whose focus is in the sexual abuse/sexual assault/trauma arena - that truly can be the difference.  I would consider my preferences - (male/female therapist, etc), jot them down and see if you can narrow down the search, some. :)  Also - when you finally start making appointments, I recommend going for a couple of sessions before deciding on whether or not you would want to continue with them - sometimes we find we connect better with one potential therapist than we do another.  You should talk to a few different ones to see who you might like to work with, long-term.

    Wishing you luck. Again, welcome to the community!

    Best wishes,

    Cap

    Hello!

    in Public: Welcome!

    Posted

    Welcome to AS, @JaneM!  I'm so sorry for the circumstances that have led you to our community, but truly glad you found us.  This is definitely a supportive space for survivors to connect with other survivors.  I must say I never realized how much could be learned from others who can relate, and I'm hopeful that being here will demonstrate the same for you.

    13 minutes ago, JaneM said:

    How is it best to approach family and friends about it? 

    This is a question many of us struggle with - I think the answer varies for us all.  I think, though, it's important to keep in mind a few key self-questions.  How is this person likely to react?  Would they be supportive? Are they trustworthy?  Would sharing with them benefit you emotionally, or could it potentially cause further emotional harm?  I know that there is always that element of surprise and that others may rise to the occasion and turn out to be great listeners...but for me, I need to be sure to check off those boxes, first.  I am very choosy about who I share with - my family is a big no-no, but I have some pretty amazing friends that I know I can share some things with and they would be kind, non-judgmental and supportive.  

    I think you'll know when the time (and person, and place....) is right.  

    Anyway - take care and again, welcome to the community!  Take gentle care of yourself.

    Best wishes,

    - Cap

    Hi

    in Public: Welcome!

    Posted

    Welcome to AS, @Rdy2try - it's okay to not know what to say right away - sometimes it takes a while to become comfortable. :)  Take your time and look around - this is truly a wonderful community filled with many who understand.  

    You're not alone!

    Take gentle care.  I am hopeful that being here will bring you peace, comfort and healing.

    Best wishes,

    - Capulet

    Any Room For A Newbie?

    in Public: Welcome!

    Posted

    30 minutes ago, Six_times_seven said:

    I think sometimes this is the hardest part of healing.  very often things do at least feel worse before they get better.  When we are healing we can no longer continue to ignore all the wounded parts so the pain is much more present, at least for a moment.  

    Absolutely, @Six_times_seven!!!

    I was married to a man who didn’t support healing - at least, his version was, ‘forget it and move on.’  We all know that’s not possible.  I’m very glad I moved on from him - I will never be able to forget my trauma but I feel better about healing in general - it is a slow but sure process - especially when done with adequate support. ❤️

    Any Room For A Newbie?

    in Public: Welcome!

    Posted

    6 hours ago, WannaMoveOn said:

    Awn! Well, I guess things are supposed to change in 15 years, but you've kinda switched lives, in a positive way. I hope have too in 15 years. 

    I am sure you will, hun!!! ❤️❤️❤️

    We are a constantly evolving species. Every few years, I’d say.  😉  Ya know, the strange thing about change - we sometimes cringe at the thought.  Many of us (including myself) don’t like changes - especially drastic ones.  I was not a very happy person back then, was just trying to maintain the facade for the sake of the people around me - ex-hubby, the kids…I found AS about a year before the separation/divorce and things would get much worse before they improved.

    I’m glad I embraced these changes!

    💕

    - Cap

    Any Room For A Newbie?

    in Public: Welcome!

    Posted

    @WannaMoveOn,

    Oh, my!!!!!!  🫢 How long it’s been!!!

    Yes, lots of changes. The husband went bye-bye in 2009 and the wife (I’m remarried now!) and I tied the knot last weekend. 😉   It definitely took a while to get here but I am in a good place.

    Thanks for the chuckle.  And for letting me know you felt inspired!! ❤️

    - Cappy

    New here!

    in Public: Welcome!

    Posted

    Welcome to After Silence, Ziggy!  I am sorry for the circumstances that have led you here, but hope being here among those who understand will bring you peace, comfort and healing.

    All the best,

    - Cap

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