Kathyps33

Chlo, I know you didn't mean for me not to talk. You were not rude to me. It seems we were both feeling the same thing that we interrupted each other. I am so thankful that the others encouraged you to stay and talk, so glad to hear that.  It's all a part of the process, it is hard for me at times to ask for what I want or need and this was a good lesson for me that it would have been ok to stay. pele messaged me and let me know that the chat group could have talked to both of us. I am just used to putting myself  last as I am sure you do also. I think it's part of what the abuse does to us, makes us feel 'less than', 'unworthy'. I had choices and choose to leave, I am NOT blaming you, It was my choice and hopefully we will both grow to a place where we can feel ok to open up and accept and share of ourselves. Thanks for messaging me and sharing your thoughts and feelings and allowing me to share mine.

Thank you for understanding, that means a lot 

Hi Kathy, how are you? Hope I didn't mis-lead anyone. I was only a cadet, I spent my whole life dreaming of joining the RAF but abuse & rape got in the way. That is why I am on this site. Congrats to your brother, he sounds like a great guy! I really wanted to join the military but failed

Sorry if I mis-lead you. Hope you are well.

Take care.

Rapha, no problem. It's what's in your heart that counts. I am so sorry that abuse and rape derailed your dreams. Even if you never actually join the military you would and wanted to serve and that takes a courageous, strong person. Actually, you aren't misleading. I read beside the Interests Royal Air Force as if you were a member, my mistake not yours. And as for, 'you failed' You didn't circumstances outside your control took that away don't blame yourself put it where it belongs. I am well, thx for asking. Take care yourself

Thank you. Happy new Year to you as well!