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  1. Starting in the middle, with no sense of where I am going and little in the way of a coherent past... 2 years ago I started therapy at a rape crisis centre. 3 terrible counsellors and one breakdown later, I am now formally diagnosed with discociative identity disorder and I have found an expert psychotherapist to work with. Things are finally starting to heal, I think. This is going to be a long road. What I am going to write will probably sound crazy and unbelievable. I don't really mind if nobody ever reads it, or believes it, but I think it will help my own healing process to have som
  2. There is no rush, just take it slowly. This is a really safe place, with lots of lovely and supportive people. But it can feel overwhelming at first.
  3. I'm having coffee with my best friend. Despite the fact I had to practically force my mother to babysit. I DESERVE a break.
  4. All I wanted was love Sometimes I really hate you Sometimes I still love you Why was I so bad? What did you hurt me? I had nobody but you And you were a monster I had to save myself I split into many parts That is because of you I cut up my arms That is because of you I tried to kill myself That is because of you I hate calling you mum
  5. Today I took my first Kung Fu class. I'm exhausted but I loved it!!!
  6. I bought a National Trust membership for me and my kids. It's a UK thing. As members we can visi a whole load of castles and stately homes and parks for free, for a whole year!
  7. You are very welcome here, and I hope that being a part of this community will help you to eventually put down this heavy burden you've been carrying for so long. Take it gently, you deserve to heal and to be heard.
  8. Thank you NorskyCoutney, janepp and angelic, for making me feel welcome here
  9. Thank you notgivingup and reglois :)
  10. You blew my world apart You stole my childhood innocence What where you thinking? Why?
  11. Took a much needed day off work and relaxed a bit.
  12. Thank you fallenstar, for replying to my post. I was a bit scared nobody would reply. I never thought to ask my counsellor if I could call her. She texted me a few weeks ago, after I had a difficult session, to say I had done really well. But I wasn't sure if it was ok to reply or not. Maybe I will ask her.
  13. I'm glad to have found this place. It's been hard, carrying it all. I tried to deal with it in the past but I could never really face it, so I found ways to live with it until now. My daughter just had her 6th birthday. She is the same age as I was when I was first abused. I think that is why it is different now. It's all at the front of my mind and I feel like I have to talk about it. I'm ready now, and it feels like I've opened the floodgates and it is all rushing up and sometimes its so overwhelming. I started counselling at a rape crisis centre. Its so helpful, but the time between appoin
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