Life has been more like a normal person's life lately and I have really enjoyed that. a few but not many thoughts of giving up on everything and they drifted away or were drowned out by cats calling or dogs barking or my husband starting some request with, "honey, are you busy?" I struggle with work. I struggle with my mother and her need to be helpless. I struggle with me being me.
Im thinking of finding a different line of work. 16yrs of law enforcement and now a dv/sa advocate, crisis line worker, and shelter worker has drained me. I have someone to talk to now and that has been such a help. when we meet, it takes a bit, but i start to "feel" after talking with her. the constant numbness is cured for a little while and i remember I am human with feelings that can be expressed. my career has never allowed that.