I'm struggling so badly right now. I'm having the hardest time staying present but I keep going away. I need to push people away but they won't go. I've hurt them, they should've run but they won't. They say it's ok but I don't like myself for being this way. It started last night, I think I'm over the edge and I really need to find my way back!!! I don't know who the fuck I am. I'm becoming this crazy person who doesn't want her friends around her. I feel like I'm suffocating!! I feel some many emotions and I can't control them. They are coming at me from all directions. I used to have some friends that could help me but they left so now I'm spiraling out of control and can't find my way back. I just want to be free and fly away but my friends won't let me. I promised not to leave and not I can't. They don't understand and I can't explain myself well enough. I suck and am so done with this shit. I'm sorry for my rant but I needed to get it out. =(