I've had a fun weekend but I have the underlining feeling of leaving my friend. It's not fair that others get to leave people and not look back. I used to be that way but my friend made me have feelings again. I hate him for it! I just want to run away. He hasn't done a thing to me. He's been busy lately. I told him maybe we should take a break from each other and he said no. He doesn't want me to leave. He won't leave me. He tells me this all the time. I just want to be left alone by the whole right now. I know I'm being ridiculous....I just feel like I need to be away.

I push him away and he keeps coming back. I feel abusive towards him and yet he allows me to do this. I just want him to leave like the others. It's less painful if I make him leave than waiting for him to do it on his own. He says he will prove em wrong and that he will be the one to stay but I don't believe him. Why am I like this?