New, Lonley & Suspiscious

[BethMarie]

I guess I'm trying to reach out. I'm 45 yrs old, in my lifetime i"ve been in and out of hospitals 2 or 3 different times. It started when I was about 24 yrs old, then again in a big way when I was about 35 or so. I'm not really sure of the dates. actually I've been in & out of probably 10 different hospitals, but I've always held a job and I've always taken care of myself, until the last 5 years or so, now I'm on disability, it's been rough, but everything's been rough so why should this be any different. I believe my diagnosis is complex ptsd, and I'm just starting to learn more about it. Anyway that's my brief introduction, it's nice to meet all of you

[Narablueeyes]

I guess I'm trying to reach out. I'm 45 yrs old, in my lifetime i"ve been in and out of hospitals 2 or 3 different times. It started when I was about 24 yrs old, then again in a big way when I was about 35 or so. I'm not really sure of the dates. actually I've been in & out of probably 10 different hospitals, but I've always held a job and I've always taken care of myself, until the last 5 years or so, now I'm on disability, it's been rough, but everything's been rough so why should this be any different. I believe my diagnosis is complex ptsd, and I'm just starting to learn more about it. Anyway that's my brief introduction, it's nice to meet all of you

Welcome. I think, I hope, you'll find what you need here.

[~FOUND~]

:hug:

Hi there.

Welcome to AS.

I hope you find this site to be helpful.

Found

[Katya3]

Hello and welcome! Ditto to the hope you'll find AS helpful and supportive.

[alp]

Welcome BethMarie.

We are the same age. I hope you find comfort here.

Anna

[splitperson3]

Welcome BethMarie...

I am just a bit older. I hope you find some healing here. There are alot of fine folks here.

take care.

Kevin

[dodo]

Hi and welcome to AS

best wishes

karen

[Jules77]

Hi, welcome to AS. I hope you find it as helpful and comforting as I have, there are so many wonderful and understanding people here, I am glad you found us all x

[~FOUND~]

I hope you are finding your way around the boards ok.

Found

[blossums]

Really nice to meet you too BethMarie, welcome to AS

I can relate to some of your story in that I also worked and paid my way until 10 years ago, and also only fairly recently started finding out about Complex PTSD

Foe me reading about that has been sometimes a revelation, how are you finding it?

All the best and hope to see you around the forums

[BethMarie]

Really nice to meet you too BethMarie, welcome to AS

I can relate to some of your story in that I also worked and paid my way until 10 years ago, and also only fairly recently started finding out about Complex PTSD

Foe me reading about that has been sometimes a revelation, how are you finding it?

All the best and hope to see you around the forums

It's been suprising to me, in that I'm an intelligent person and I've done my share, over the years, to find out as much as I could about my circumstance. Nothing ever really fit, you know to me and my stuff. It's so frustrating, and it just goes on year after year. I'm getting older now and I just don't know if I have it in me to get better. It's such a big question, it's a life question, do you go this way or that. I think finding out about complex ptsd is a step in the right direction. I'm curious enough not to give up yet. Good luck to all of us

[BethMarie]

thank you all for your welcome

[~FOUND~]

You're welcome.

Thinking of you.

Found

[blossums]

It's been suprising to me, in that I'm an intelligent person and I've done my share, over the years, to find out as much as I could about my circumstance. Nothing ever really fit, you know to me and my stuff. It's so frustrating, and it just goes on year after year. I'm getting older now and I just don't know if I have it in me to get better. It's such a big question, it's a life question, do you go this way or that. I think finding out about complex ptsd is a step in the right direction. I'm curious enough not to give up yet. Good luck to all of us

Yes me too, read plenty over the years and nothing really fit me either, CPTSD does tho

Can relate to what you're saying about not knowing if I have it in me to get better, turned 40 last month and have been depressed a lot this last year with the same thing - life questions, - can I actually do this, or to be more precise fearing that i can't

I think that trying to sort it out or not trying will both have their fair share of pain invloved, but that trying has the better chance of the pain being worth it

Glad you are curious enough not to give up yet, it is utterly exhausting going through all this and not finding the way out so understand the temptation to give up

And yes, good luck to all of us

All the very best

[BethMarie]

Can I just say, this is hard...This life is hard, quite often it's too hard, but then I've learned to be patient and maybe in a day or two, or a week or two, or a month or two, it will ease up enough so I can breathe, or maybe sleep, or maybe hope. You know for me I just can't look at things overall, I can't think about the "big picture", it's too depressing, it's too sad, it's too hopeless. But I can look at today, I try to find the positive in today, I try not to expect the worse for tomorrow, I guess that's how I cope. It's taken me a long time to get to this point, you know I used to get suicidal, and crazy when I was younger, but thank God I've slowed down, lowered my expectations, and I'm starting to learn that my life is unique, it doesn't have to follow anyone's expectations, not even my own....Anyway there's my thought for today! Take care everyone

[blossums]

Hi Beth

Yes, it is hard isn't it. I think I am learning some of the same lessons as you - it is definately much easier on a day to day level - when life comes along and makes me see the bigger picture it can definately be painful

I'm starting to learn that my life is unique, it doesn't have to follow anyone's expectations, not even my own....Anyway there's my thought for today!

I like this

All the very best