NO MORE!

[Isaqueen]

Hi,

I am 22 years old. I have been raped 3 times, and the worst one was by my ex-boyfriend. It hurt because I trusted him and loved him. I am no longer with him, but I struggle everyday to not feel damaged and broken. I never talk about what happened to me because I blamed myself for putting myself in these situations. I used to feel like I had so much light to share with others, and I can't find the light anymore. I've felt helpless. I believed I had it coming because I have been sl*t shamed. I've felt so alone because I fake a smile everyday. I don't want people to know I'm hurting, and I don't want to burden people with my pain. But I am here to say no more. No more victimizing myself. No more blaming myself. No more thinking about how I could have fought better. No more will these men control my daily life. No more will I feel ashamed or damaged. Because I know I've survived for a reason. I know that there are so many people that feel alone, and I want people to know that we are not alone. You wouldn't be a warrior without your battle scars. No more fear of not being believed. No more shame. We need to support each other because who else would. No more feeling alone. 

-Isa

[8888]

Welcome @Isaqueen to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  If you don't want to burden people with your pain but need to talk going to therapy can be another good option in the event you need more support than what can be offered here.  Just something to keep in mind should you need it.  Take your time exploring here and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

[Ren_]

Hi and welcome @Isaqueen I’m sorry for all the pain you’ve been through and are still carrying. You aren’t alone on here and I hope this site will be as helpful to you as it has to me (I’m new too) I think you're pretty amazing sharing your experience and surviving everything that you are. 

T 💚 xx 

[S.A.I.]

Hey @Isaqueen 

a kind welcome from me to you too. g

greetings 

🌺🌸🐞🌸🌺

[MeBeMary]

Hi Isa,

Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry that you have experienced trauma in your life and have been betray by an ex. I am glad that you are no longer with this jerk, as what he did was unacceptable. Do know that you will find tons of support here, as our members are understanding and kind. You are not alone. I am glad you found it in yourself to stop blaming yourself. There ins never a valid reason to be hurt. So I do hope you are proud that you have accomplished this.

Feel free to look around the site and jump in when and how much is comfortable to you. I am glad you found our site and decided to reach out. I wish you the best as you continue this journey in healing.

Mary

[marcyabadeer]

On 6/16/2020 at 12:18 PM, Isaqueen said:

Hi,

I am 22 years old. I have been raped 3 times, and the worst one was by my ex-boyfriend. It hurt because I trusted him and loved him. I am no longer with him, but I struggle everyday to not feel damaged and broken. I never talk about what happened to me because I blamed myself for putting myself in these situations. I used to feel like I had so much light to share with others, and I can't find the light anymore. I've felt helpless. I believed I had it coming because I have been sl*t shamed. I've felt so alone because I fake a smile everyday. I don't want people to know I'm hurting, and I don't want to burden people with my pain. But I am here to say no more. No more victimizing myself. No more blaming myself. No more thinking about how I could have fought better. No more will these men control my daily life. No more will I feel ashamed or damaged. Because I know I've survived for a reason. I know that there are so many people that feel alone, and I want people to know that we are not alone. You wouldn't be a warrior without your battle scars. No more fear of not being believed. No more shame. We need to support each other because who else would. No more feeling alone. 

-Isa

Hello Isa

Welcome to After Silence! I am sorry for the trauma that brings you to the forums, but we are very glad you are here with us now Being here on the site, one thing you will learn quickly is you are not alone in this struggle. We are all here for each other. I know when I tend to feel absolutely isolated in my personal life, I come here and have felt the support from others many times where I felt completely hopeless. I hope you know you will never be a burden here ! Thank you for posting such an uplifting message at the end of your post. You are right- no more feeling alone!

Sitting with you if ok?

 

sam 🖤🌻

[missfrier]

On 6/16/2020 at 5:18 PM, Isaqueen said:

Hi,

I am 22 years old. I have been raped 3 times, and the worst one was by my ex-boyfriend. It hurt because I trusted him and loved him. I am no longer with him, but I struggle everyday to not feel damaged and broken. I never talk about what happened to me because I blamed myself for putting myself in these situations. I used to feel like I had so much light to share with others, and I can't find the light anymore. I've felt helpless. I believed I had it coming because I have been sl*t shamed. I've felt so alone because I fake a smile everyday. I don't want people to know I'm hurting, and I don't want to burden people with my pain. But I am here to say no more. No more victimizing myself. No more blaming myself. No more thinking about how I could have fought better. No more will these men control my daily life. No more will I feel ashamed or damaged. Because I know I've survived for a reason. I know that there are so many people that feel alone, and I want people to know that we are not alone. You wouldn't be a warrior without your battle scars. No more fear of not being believed. No more shame. We need to support each other because who else would. No more feeling alone. 

-Isa

Dear lsa

I am sorry for all that you have been through.   You have been so brave in reaching out to us, please know that this is never easy!   We are all here for you and we want to support you.  You're not alone in your healing journey and are always welcome to lean on us for extra support.  You can post as much or as little as you like.  We are here to support you in the way you need.  I have found this community to be very helpful.  Everyone is so understanding and non-judgmental and I am hoping you feel the same way once you've gotten to know us a little.   

All my best,