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About marcyabadeer

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    land of ooo
  • Interests
    singing, dancing, baking, gaming

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  1. should i bite my tongue until blood soaks my shirt? 

    1. Field8


      I'm so sorry. Can I sit with you?

    2. mini.finch


      Sending you support and comfort. ❤️ Sitting with you, if you'd like.

  2. idk how to ask for help here. I feel like it’s arrogant of me to think anyone would even care 🤷🏻‍♀️ 😔 

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. Pink Sky

      Pink Sky

      Sending some extra care your way Marcy. I relate to how you feel, but whatever it is you're struggling with, big or small, you deserve support and will find it here if you reach out. Sending safe hugs if ok?

    3. marcyabadeer


      Thank you for the support @Doll6& @Pink Sky. I really appreciate it.

      I feel less alone with all your responses 😢🌻🖤 I think I’ll try to make a post soon. I just get really scared of getting to that vulnerable space of opening up. I’ve regressed a lot with that 🤷🏻‍♀️ 

    4. Pink Sky

      Pink Sky

      That's ok, take your time! There's no pressure to share anything until you feel ready 

  3. you are a fraud 😢 taking others words and making them your own. how could you be so cold and awful? 


    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. marcyabadeer


      @Free2Flythank you. I’m feeling idk, grossed out by people and their intentions. 

      @tuliptornnope not talking about myself this time 😆 but thank you for your kindness my friend 



    3. tuliptorn



    4. Free2Fly


      Your welcome, I'm sorry you're feeling like that, there's too much bad in the world.

  4. @feralcat thank you for some insight. It does feel like a morbid curiosity. I want answers or understanding of some kind but I know I won’t find that where I’m looking
  5. :bye:

    1. Show previous comments  23 more
    2. Free2Fly


      Thank you although I think stuffs gonna keep me awake again.

      I'm sorry but yeah I can understand that very much been the last few days for me honestly, you can just be sitting there and bam instant low feelings.

      I'm sorry your stuck between them too.

    3. marcyabadeer


      I hope things look up for you soon :(  Sending support to you :hug:

    4. Free2Fly


      Thank you Marcy I appreciate it, I hope your doing okay tonight/day whenever it maybe. 🌻

  6. So lovely to see you back, sending much love 🧡 B

    1. marcyabadeer


      thank you for your kindness and support B 😊🖤🌻

  7. marcyabadeer

    I fear...

    Goldie- you are not fragile my friend. It is about that time when we start to realize things for what they were and feel traumatized again. Being numb to the repeated abuse is the way we survived. Now that we are safe from that treatment, we can’t help but see how things were so out of hand with the abuse. It is normal that we collapse every once in a while- we survived horrible things. I am sorry you are feeling this way. Sitting with you always 🌻
  8. Thank you Kim. I hope you can feel and know that you are blameless also friend we just need to remind each other I guess because our own minds won’t allow us to believe it yet 🌻
  9. @Houston Kim thank you for your validation. It’s pretty messed up to be honest- we all let the victim blaming culture alter how we view the situations we experienced. Even if it is blatantly rape/ assault/ abuse I think the idea of telling our stories we feel the need to almost be defense attorneys questioning our own credibility in all of this. I don’t think that’s very fair. And I’m mad it’s the way things are. It shouldn’t be like this. I don’t want to think these ways. I would never discredit anyone else and it’s maddening we are so quick to do this to ourselves. sam
  10. @Celia thank you i think I remain hard on myself because idk how else to be. Although a piece of me is genuinely surprised you don’t think I am stupid or foolish or ignorant- something. I just wish I could know why or why me. I obsess with finding answers and since I can’t ask him I guess my default is to go to the memories and I cringe thinking about the things that happened before I knew what he was capable of it’s numbing! thank you for sitting with me and the safe hugs- safe hugs back to you sam🖤🌻
  11. 🤢 These situations are the first ones I can remember where my personal space began being invaded. Before the actual sexual touching these things stand out as I guess what I would consider "grooming" even though I never considered myself "groomed" by him because he was never really nice to me, he just intimidated me. I had asked a question one time close to the end of class but he ended up fucking around until the bell went off. After class I just stayed in my seat. He went to do something on the other side of the room where his writing desk and filing cabinets were. Everyone wa
  12. Gosh Celia, thank you for saying these things 😢 I have been feeling very depressed lately and reading these responses has made me feel a bit uplifted. Thank you for sitting with me 🌻
  13. Thank you for taking time to read my story I am so sorry you can relate. I am short on words at the moment but I really wanted to acknowledge That you said very heartwarming things to me and I really appreciate it all at this time especially. I appreciate you 🌻
  14. i’m stuck here :( 

    1. Free2Fly


      Safe hugs :hug:If ok?

    2. marcyabadeer


      @Free2Fly thank you. Safe hugs back to you :hug:

    3. tuliptorn


      Stuck here too Sam 😪

  15. I will sit with you in the loneliness if ok? I know when I am affected by things around me, I also tend to take it very personally and wonder what is so wrong with ME? I can say because I am an extremely empathetic person, things bother me a little more and I internalize issues that may not have anything specifically to do with me. Leaving me feel burnt out and unworthy of basic human social interaction. You are worthy of companionship with your partner. My partner is currently in therapy so it makes it slightly a bit easier for him to be a little more sympathetic but he wasn’t alwa
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