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Tsabu

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Posts posted by Tsabu

    Hi, I'm new and nervous

    in Public: Welcome!

    Posted

    Hi Eleni,

    Welcome to AS!!  😊

    I am sorry for what has brought you here....but glad that you have reached out!  

    It is understandable to feel nervous and worried.  That is perfectly normal....this is something new.  Please know that you are surrounded by fellow survivors who are here to support you.  

    Standing with you as you move forward on your healing journey.  

    Take much gentle care.  🌺

    Tsabu.  

     

     

    hello friends

    in Public: Welcome!

    Posted

    Hi @Sylvan_cg,

    Welcome to AS!!  

    I am so sorry for what the abuser/s did to you!  Bullying is also a hard one to go through.  I am not sure of your circumstances...but I endured a lot of bullying in mostly high school.  Horrendous.  

    I am glad you are here and wish you much progress as you heal from the trauma.

    See you around in the forums.  

    Take much gentle care.

    Tsabu  💕

     

     

    New here

    in Public: Welcome!

    Posted

    Hi Pea......welcome to AS!!  :wave:

    I am sorry for what someone has done to you that has caused you to seek out help on a survivor site......but am happy that you are reaching out!

    Be very gentle with yourself as you start your healing journey.  

    Take good care of you.  ♥️

    Tsabu  

     

    Hi...I’m new.... and nervous

    in Public: Welcome!

    Posted

    Hey @Rachal1,

    So understandable that you are having difficulty managing or explaining how you are feeling after what you have been through.

    If okay, I am going to post some links to articles to help you on 'Self Care After Trauma'........and.......'Stress Management: Breathing Exercise for Relaxation'.

    Especially with the breathing part.......when we slow down our breathing, it helps our mind and body to relax.  One kinda affects the other, if that makes sense.  Slow breathing, the body relaxes......then that in turn relaxes the mind.  https://www.uofmhealth.org/health-library/uz2255

    With the self care after trauma article, it explains the affects of trauma and how it can affect you....and what you may be able to do to help yourself.  https://highlandspringsclinic.org/blog/the-importance-of-self-care-after-trauma/

    I hope that if helps you a little as you go through this difficult time.  There is no obligation to look into these articles, it is totally your choice.  😊

    Tsabu  💐

     

    Hi...I’m new.... and nervous

    in Public: Welcome!

    Posted

    Is good that you have contacted them.  

    It is okay and understandable that it is hard to speak to them.  I am sorry that you are enduring the medicals and meetings with the police.  I know it has to be done, but I can only imagine it would be so difficult.  :(  

    Sitting with you in support......as you go through this difficult time.  

    Tsabu  :hug:

    hi, I'm new on here.

    in Public: Welcome!

    Posted

    Hi @Saphira,

    Welcome to Aftersilence!  :aswelcomesu:

    I am sorry for what brings you here, but am glad that you have joined us.

    Take your time to look around the forums and there is never any pressure to talk unless you want to.  :)

    Take much gentle care of you, Saphira.

    Tsabu  

    Advice for Newbies to Healing

    in Public: Welcome!

    Posted

    Hello,

    I remember being so new to healing, quite lost and skeptical of ever moving forward.  Healing has been a journey to hell and back.....but so very much worth it!  There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

    If okay, I would like to list some things that have helped me to heal.  Perhaps they may help you too?  

    • Find a good therapist.  You may have to go through several to find the right one.  This doesn’t have to be forever, perhaps just through the most difficult or early times.  For those in a relationship, couples' counselling may be a good idea as partners may take your triggers personally.  This will help them to understand that some issues are definitely a ‘healing’ matter and not a ‘relationship’ matter.
    • Read about the effects of abuse/assault so you understand why you feel and act the way you do.  This is important as you may have previously thought that it was just 'who you are' as opposed to to a natural reaction to what has happened to you.
    • For those in a relationship, encourage your partner to read about effects of abuse/assault so they understand why you act the way you do, as this can affect the relationship.
    • Learn to understand your triggers and discuss them with your partner too, so they understand.  Triggers can be taken personally by your partner if they do not understand and as a result can cause additional stress. 
    • Remove or restrict contact with people who do not support your healing or are toxic to you.  It is hard to deal with toxic or abusive people still in your life while trying to heal.  Your call.
    • Exercise, eat well, get as much sleep as you can.   A healthy body helps to support a healthy mind.  
    • Start doing relaxation techniques: deep breathing, listening to relaxation music, meditation.  This is important.  You have to start actually doing things to help you relax.  There is a point where it is optimal to take action when you feel down and actually implement the techniques you have learnt.  If you don't, you stay stuck in the same frame of mind.
    • Practice self care when feeling deeply upset: watch an uplifting movie, make a nice meal for yourself, wrap yourself in a blankie, listen to gentle music, meditation, self soothe in whatever way helps you.
    • Journal your feelings.  Writing things down is a good way to try to get thoughts ‘out of your head’ and stop the constant overthinking.
    • Start to praise yourself to help negate the negative internal conditioning.  ‘Good job’, ‘I tried, it failed, but that is okay, everyone fails sometimes’,  ‘I am a good person’,  ‘Next time, I will do better’, 'I did not deserve the abuse/assault and it was not my fault'.  

    Please know that you are never alone with what you have gone through.  I hope that this helps in some way and I wish you all the best that healing has to offer.  There is another version of this post in Gathering Place with further suggestions by other lovely survivors.

    Take gentle care.

    Tsabu  ❤️

    Hey, new here.

    in Public: Welcome!

    Posted

    Hi @Anonymous26,

    Welcome to After Silence!  :hi:

    I am sorry for what that 'friend' did to you!!  Trauma does have a way of coming back up to the surface regardless of how we try to push it back down.

    I hope you find the support you need here on AS.  Perhaps it might also be an idea to consider further help from your T in the future.

    Take gentle care of you @Anonymous26.

    Tsabu  :flowers:

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