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panda0889

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About panda0889

  • Birthday August 6

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Interests
    Anime, cosplay, sewing, drawing, reading, photography, electronics, taking things apart and attempting to put them back together

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    Survivor

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  1. panda0889

    Grandparents

    I've always been a firm believer in the "my house, my rules" policy. I think that it's important to be respectful of someone's rules when you step into their home. There are exceptions, of course. Abuse in any form is never ok. And children, especially young children, come with their own set of rules all together. It's been 2 months since I moved in with my parents while my husband is away at officer training school. For the most part, we get along but there is one area we continue to butt heads on. My son. There are a lot of things that factor in when it comes to the way I operate as a parent. I'm a first time mom and this is my first time watching my son fulltime. I used to work nights as a front desk clerk. I would watch my son in the mornings until 2 when my husband would get home from work and take over. Then I'd go to work until 8, sometimes as late as 9, and my husband would make sure our son had dinner, brushed his teeth, had plenty of time to play and was in bed at a certain time every night. We had a routine. It wasn't all that strict. We just tried to keep the important things like meals, nap times, and bedtime consistent. It didn't always mean we got a full night's rest and there were plenty of times I pulled all-nighters so my husband would be wide awake for work the next morning. But our routine meant stability to our son. He knew what time daddy would be home. He knew what time mommy left for work. He knew when he would be fed and he slept through most nights knowing mommy and daddy would be there if he needed a diaper change or a drink. Ever since we moved into my parent's house, we have no routine. My parents believe that it's best to let my son wake up and fall asleep on his own, whenever and for however long he wants to. They don't change his diapers. They don't give him baths. Yet they backseat parent and snap at me when I don't do things their way. My son has not once gone to bed before midnight since we moved in and he often wakes in the middle of the night, crying out for daddy. It's frustrating to live here because I was abused in this house and to some extent, I'm still being abused. I still get yelled at for trying to do what's only natural: looking out for my son's needs. There's only two weeks left till we leave for my husband's graduation. Two weeks to endure before we can get ourselves back on track. Two weeks of being snapped at for not letting my stepdad give my son marshmallows at 10pm. Two weeks of being sneered at and mocked because I excluded them from my plans for this 13 hour trip. I'm an adult, a parent, and I'm being treated like I'm a child acting out for attention. Let's just say I'm counting down the minutes till I have my life, my family, and my peace back.
  2. Maybe this is how Alice felt in Wonderland? 

  3. How are you and your son doing, Panda? Did you decide whether to stay at your parents' house or go to your mother-in-law's? Hope that time is passing quickly and your husband gets home soon.

    :notalone:

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. aftersilence1

      aftersilence1

      I'm sorry that yesterday was so rough. But, I'm glad that your friend was able to be there for you. You deserve to be comforted. I'm glad that your husband continues to be protective over you and your son and that he "gets" how much you are affected by all of this and is sensitive to your needs. I hope that today is not such a "whammy" for you in the memories department and perhaps you're able to spend time outside or with supportive friends. Counting down the days with you...:hug:

    3. panda0889

      panda0889

      Thank you so much. I think it's going to be a good day today. I'm going to meet with a girl friend of mine. She's amazing. I think she'll be able to help me take my mind off of everything. 

    4. aftersilence1

      aftersilence1

      I'm glad that you have her. Hope you have a good time together. 

  4. Thanks for reading and responding to my story. I was nervous posting it, and I appreciate your support.

    1. panda0889

      panda0889

      It's no problem. I think you're really brave for speaking about your story. I have a similar story so I think I know exactly how you feel. Hang in there. You do belong here. You're not alone.

    2. aftersilence1

      aftersilence1

      Thanks!😊 Hope you are having a healing day.

  5. Thank you! Great to be here.
  6. Thank you. Good to be here.
  7. Your bluntness is greatly appreciated, honestly. I always prefer straight answer to sugar coated. Thank you so much. I think I'm going to get the help I need here. I'm so glad I found this place.
  8. I'm looking for support in getting past my trauma, understanding what happened, what is considered consent and when one should recognize there is no longer consent. I want to know if something that started out with consent could still be considered r*pe. Honestly, I'm just looking for a better understanding of these subjects and help getting past what happened.
  9. Thank you. I really want to get started talking about it but I'm not sure where to go. It seems like there are a lot of options. Could you point me in the right direction?
  10. Hi. My name is Rachel and I'm very glad to be here. I found this site in hopes of better understanding what happened to me. Thank you for having me.
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