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Irishgal8026
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My Story
in LonelymanJim
A blog by LonelymanJim in General
Posted
Hello Jim, how are you? Thank you for sharing your story with us. You've actually hit a chord with me. I have a 12 year old son, and I cannot imagine someone doing that to him. I cannot understand your brother's reply or your Dad's. It was NOT alright for that to be done to you at 12, you're right she did take away your innocence. It sounds that she preyed on you. By 'ignoring' you in the beginning etc...
Why this 2nd woman did this to you I do not know. You mention that you 'can't turn her in' Yes you can! You can quite easily tell your mother. I think since your Dad had that reaction in the beginning, it would be best telling your Mother. I cannot get my head around this. Your 'second mother' maybe just that but surely she'd know what's right from wrong? And yes her daughter did do that she most definitely should not have!!!!!!
If I were in a relationship with someone and at ANY time, he'd say no, I'd stop immediately. Continuing unwanted sexual activity is knowingly going against the other person. This woman is disgusting. To make you feel like that.
You deserve respect, you deserve to be listened to and you deserve to be loved for who you are.
"The worst part of this is that I don't trust people anymore. And, something that is loving and should be special, our sexuality, I hate. I hate the fact that I'm still a sexual being, I hate the fact that I still get erections and that I find naked porn stars sexy. But mostly I hate the fact that I have no-one close to me, no-one to hold my hand, to talk to in the dark of night, no-one to tell me everything is going to be okay. I hate the fact that I'll never be in another healthy relationship in my life. I hate the fact I can't have friends because I don't trust people. I hate the fact I don't even trust my own family."
I'm really sorry this has happened to you. You do not deserve any bit of this. I would tell you that maybe in time you could be in a healthy relationship again, but I'm kinda feeling the same as you are, in what you said here. (from a female perspective of course) I do not trust anyone now. I don't even trust some friends. Some have completely ignored me and others smother me.
I would however suggest a therapist. By dealing with the way you're feeling, it can help a little.
I hope you're ok. *sitting with you* if that's okay.