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About Justwokeup

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    maybe you can love me when theres no one left to blame

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  1. Shaantiamor... unfortunately, I can relate. I guess that's why I'm back again, after another break for a couple years. And this has actually been going on for awhile now. Sometimes I guess it's just easier to sweep it under the rug. I want what we used to have before we had been married 20 something years. Before I opened up to him and let him into my dark past. It used to be so easy when we were younger. Before he knew. And he's been so good to me. He understands as much as possible. I wish I had some miracle fix for you, and for me. I'll think on it for a while and try to come back with some kind of an answer. What I can say, is when we do it's usually great that one time a year. It's a lot of guilt to live with. And then after I feel guilt, especially if I wasn't able to keep the ghosts from the past out of the bedroom. And I'm relieved that I'm off the hook for awhile. And sometimes giving in just gives him the idea that I'm ok now. I've been throughy therapized over this. For me, it comes up when I have any kind of health issue. Could be a common cold, this time it's a serious injury that could actually give me a great excuse not to. Maybe someone will come along on this thread and give us both an ah ha moment. I love my husband. We've been though a lot together and he must love me a whole lot too, to keep sticking around. And I'm sure your partner does too, since you're here looking for a solution. And really maybe I know the answer. Communication is key. I know this from experience, yet it's easier said than done. And the world is a strange place to be these days. Hang in there, it will get better, then worse and better in between. Keep a good foundation. As long as the foundation is good. The rest can be fixed eventually. Any advice anyone has on this subject would be very welcome. Safe hugs to you, if that's ok. ❤
  2. Justwokeup


    Everyone should read this! THANKYOU
  3. Is that the way it oughta stay.....I dont think so :).....

  4. Is that the way it oughta stay.....I dont think so :).....

  5. I wonder if I would be the same if I had not been hurt, probally not. The real question is would I be a better human if I had not?

  6. so true.....put one foot in front of the other and after you have you will be amazed how far you have come
  7. Hi Dande....Me too Wonder around, read stories and tell yours when you are ready. Its ok.....I'm kinda going through something like you. Here it is safe and you will find understanding, probably give it too. I have been holding that beachball under water for 30 years and it just keeps surfacing. I am getting too weak to keep it under water and so I came here seeking help. I can't tell you how all the different people on here are amazing, you'll have to experience it for yourself. ((((safe hugs if ok))))
  8. I had a friend and I told her too much about me, so she went away. Why don't I ever learn!

  9. Welcome to AS! Glad you found us. You never have to be alone anymore.
  10. i dont want to die, but sometimes wish i had never been born at all.....another day to get through, i hate mornings. its starting all over again. everyday the same anger.

  11. I'm so glad to be on the forum. I have a long story to tell and in time I will. Thank you for this place to go where people understand. Its been 30 years since I was abused. Its just so hard but I am ready to start the healing process. I can't just sit back and do nothing anymore. The nightmares and flashbacks have gotten to be too much to deal with. I'm always strong and with you this part of my life I will find the strength to deal with my memories.
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