Today i was picking up trash with my roommate on our way back to our room from our walk to get me out of bed when this guy who was running stopped by the trash can we were at to put on his shirt while we were throwing away the trash. we kept making eye contact and he was really good looking. my body obviously felt attracted to him but my mind and heart  felt disgusting for being attracted to someone so soon after my assault. I feel like I am betraying myself which I feel is stupid. when i think of being with someone i feel sick so why did this one moment make me forget that? Im angry at my self and my feelings are all over the place.