Jump to content


Sign in to follow this  
  • entry
  • comments
  • views

The first step



I've never written a blog or journal before. Maybe this won't last longer than a day.

Everything is a struggle right now.  No part of me wants to be alive.  But I'm scared of hurting the people I love.  It's strange feeling so much love for those around me when all my other emotions are so dark and bleak.

I'm living with friends at the moment as I'm not safe on my own.

I showered today, for the first time in 4 days, I'm surprised my friends wanted to be around me.

I also ate for the first time in 4 days.  I didn't realise how hungry I was until I took that first bite.

Two things that seemed impossible a few days ago. I'm exhausted but I achieved two things today, I guess that's progress.

I hope everyone else is doing better.

D x


Recommended Comments

My heart hurts for you. I hear you and i understand your struggles. I've often had those thoughts, not just from circumstances in recent months, but from a younger age. I thought alot about them until i married and had a child....and my husband followed through on thoughts of his own. 

I don't know you, but i'm proud of you for getting up, for showering, for eating, for writing this blog. For seeking help.  For trying to keep yourself safe and recognising how your friends and family would feel with out your beautiful soul in their lives. 

Share this comment

Link to comment

Hi dee86, I'm so sorry for your pain and despair. I think you did great, showering and eating and staying alive. I understand that struggle. There are days when breathing and staying on this planet are tremendous acts of bravery. I'm so glad you have people in your life who you love and who love you. Keep reaching out for help and support. Keep breathing.


Share this comment

Link to comment
Add a comment...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...