Release

Thanks for sharing your story. It does help to have a connection with someone, and I do know how you have felt when pretending to be unaware of what was happening. I never thought of keeping the truth from an adult as secret. I thought of it as a lie. I became a great liar, and started to lie about everything. I told my classmates I had the beautiful room with pink carpet and a four poster bed. My abusers laughed when I said I would tell. Maybe that's why I started to lie about stupid stuff. Maybe I was checking to see if anyone would believe me. I'm not sure if writing this down helps me, as it is all more obvious, how I was using survival skills and building skills to save myself. Until recently, I had not made any connections with some of my bad behaviours and my abuse. Once the truth came out, I told myself I would never lie again. Not that is a problem, because I say too much. 

Thank you for that perspective, it makes perfect sense, and I've never made that connection.