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Step I/Question I: Did you keep your abuse a secret? Part I

Freyja Lee

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Step One - Question One:  Did you keep your abuse a secret.

Part I

My immediate thought went to how long did I keep my abuse a secret, how old was I the first time I told someone, who was the first person I told...and then the darker sides of the secret started to come to light (see part II).

I had my first child at age 17.  I had not told anyone of my sexual abuse prior to this.  My son's  father went to prison when I was 3 months pregnant, and after I had my son, I connected with a friend of my brothers.  She and I became very close and I started dating her brother and became close to their mother as well.  I confided in them about some of my abuse (years later, they would use this information against me a number of times).  

At this same time, all of the family sexual abuse was starting to come to light.  I learned of my brother's sexual abuse, my cousin's sexual abuse, my dads, both uncles and so on.  I also learned of other people my dad had sexually abused.  Up to this point, I thought it had only been me — I was WAY off.  I learned that my dad had also sexually abused my brother's best friend for many years, who was also my childhood sweetheart as we had an on again off again relationship all throughout Jr. High.  At some point, he learned that my dad had sexually abused me growing up.  A few years later, this person told my new boyfriend that me and my dad had a sexual relationship for many years and that it was consensual.  I felt so betrayed and had similar experiences after that.  I then became much more selective of what and with who I shared with.  

See part II...



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