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Who Abused You?

Freyja Lee


I was abused by my dad from about age 6 to 15. 

...my brother, as a young kid he would experiment on me, then sexual abuse from around age 12 to 16. 

...my dads girlfriends two brothers took pictures of me and abused me.   I can't remember how old I was, but somewhere between 4-6th grade. 

...my uncle  -  a couple of hand full of times around age 12 

...my cousin made out with me, touched me/made me touch him and almost raped me 

...when I was 14 I had an affair with my best friend's dad for a summer, he was about 32    *see blog  "Where is the Line"


There was one of my mom's boyfriends, who I feel may have  sexually abused me as well.  But I have blocked a lot of his abuse towards me.  I have memories of  all the abuse he inflicted on others: beating my mom up, beating my brother, him beating the dog and making us watch and kill the rabbits we had.   I know that he beat me as well, but I don't have the image recall on my abuse.   I do remember being terrified of him, especially at the dinner table and when he was drinking beer and watching football.  I do have one quick image of him with me in the bedroom, but the image disappears before I can even get a glimpse of it.  We lived with him for maybe 6 months when I was 5.  When my mom finally left him, she hitch hiked to Colorado from Nebraska with my brother and I.


As a teenager/adult, I've sex with many people I would not have, if it weren't for my abuse and conditioning.  Some 'boyfriends', some acquaintances , and one, I didn't even know his name.  If I said no a number of times, and they persisted, I would just let them do what they wanted to me.  What I wanted didn't matter.  If they wanted it, they were going to get it.  I could give it to them or they could take it.  Better to submit than to be raped.... 


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I’m sorry you had to go through that.

So I’m not so clear about my childhood (I forgot exactly when it happened) but I was groped by a security guard in a store when I was around 8 or 9

When I was 17-18 there was this one guy who thought “I was asking for it” and went right into kissing me and grinding on me

Now this happened last month and this has effected me the most, I met a man in a bar and in the end he forced himself on me and had his way with me when I didn’t ask him. It’s changed me and I can’t even talk about it properly.

Edited by neverland
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A neighbor as a small child (possibly- memories are very unclear), a foster-type parent in a group home at 17 (unsuccessful attempt), and a roommate at 19 (drug facilitated assault). 

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