When I read back and I think about what I have been through, it hurts, it causes me great pain. I guess I try and pretend to myself that not all of it was real, that it didn't happen that rather it was perception of my imagination. But, the truth is it was my reality, and it still is. You can’t hide from the pain, because if you do, you block yourself off from feeling the happy moments where doctors go out of their way to help you, where nurses great you with warm smiles, where counsellors and friends are always always there for you, the feeling you get when you receive the best hug, the times you laugh at the stupidest things,the challenges you face, that when you look back make you realise just how strong you truly are. You have to live, through all of it. It’s been rough, really rough, and in my head I still can not really come to the terms that I have gone through everything and I am where I am right now, in the library , applying for med school. I am trying to say, that when all seems lost, when it seems as though you’ll never get out of the dark place, you will, you just have to believe. Be brave. Take that leap. I am still haunted everyday by every emotion but they no longer consume me. I am further than I was before and I am proud of myself, one step at a time I am getting there.
You can’t skip the chapters, that’s not how life works. You have to read over line, feel every emotion, meet every character. Not, all of it will good. Some chapters will be hell and make you cry for weeks. Some chapters will make you ache, the pain will be so bad you want to stop reading. But, you have to keep reading. You have to keep believing. Your stories will evolve, there will be sadness and pain, but there will be happy and brilliance, you have to keep reading, you have to keep turning those pages. This is your story. Live it.