your honour, my shame

Sweetheart, I don't know what happened to you and it really doesn't matter but, I'm sure that no one deserves to treat themselves like this. You are in this world for a reason as we all are ! Yes, while we are here we will suffer some more then others but, it doesn't change the fact that we are still alive therefor we have the right to have a full and happy life regardless of what others have tried to take away from us... you need to love yourself first and foremost, you are what is important not your therapist and what she might think of you. You are not a waste of time, this is what she studied for and if she is as good as therapist as you say she is, she will be glad with the fact that regardless of everything else, you take the time to go see her, even if its to be in silence.

Maybe you should start writing down what you want to say and give it to her for her to read, maybe you don't have the words to say out loud and its easier to write, just try to get what you feel out there to her so that even if you don't speak she knows what is going on with you and in your heart.

You have to look in the mirror and give yourself credit, you have survived, you are in control of what happens to your life from now on. Nothing that you do to yourself will take away what you feel, you can drink, take pills even try to slice away the pain, but it will always come back until you LOVE yourself enough to take the help you need and take charge of your life...

I tell myself all the time, maybe what happened to me is part of the reason why I am here, maybe it had to happen to me so that I could help others, make your life count, make a difference with your experience, turn such an UGLY thing into a positive aspect of your life.

From the bottom of my heart, I hope you will find peace and love yourself again.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE !

Thanks for your support kungfu! I am taking your kind words to heart and trying to convince myself you are right. I am just struggling a lot right now, so what you wrote made my day a little better and gave me some strength.

Take care and hugs, Hayatee

Hi Hayatee, how are you today sweetheart?

I hope you are doing better and better each day... just remember, when we hit the bottom, there is only one place to do and, that's UP

Take care,

Ana

Hi Ana!

So sweet of you to ask.

I am doing okay.... No that´s a lie. Okay is the word I use for everything when I don´t know what else to say. Well I am trying, taking one day at a time, but I can´t say I am doing well. I am very down, very sad and not feeling so hopeful. But you asking how I am just made me feel better.

How are you?

Take care, Hayatee