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Welcome to After Silence - A message board and chat room for rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivors.

Welcome to After Silence, a message board and chat room designed to help survivors communicate in the recovery of rape, sexual abuse, sexual assault, and all types of sexual violence.

After Silence has over 30 different forums, ranging from topics created to discuss specific areas of healing and recovery from rape and sexual violence, as well as forums open to general discussions and lighter topics. Because we value the privacy of our members, most of our forums are private, which means that ONLY REGISTERED members have access to them. Please register for a free account to gain full access to the After Silence Online Support Group.

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us at aftersilence.moderators@gmail.com
Guest Message by DevFuse

new here

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3 replies to this topic

#1 Guest_marie_*

  • Guests

Posted 03 March 2004 - 07:04 PM

hi i wish that i had more. but thats my problem. i have only have bits and pieces of my past. but i have all the symptoms and defense mechinisms you can imagine. i have been to three different counselors. and the last on believes that i have bpd. i have had very bad expirences in relationships and have a difficult time un trusting anyone. even myself. fear and all the lies ive told cloud my past. and now they wont let me be. im a prisoner in my mind. how do i get to my past. so i can get to the real me. i do believe that things happened. but i wont let myself remember. please help. i feel like im going crazy.or am i?

#2 Lilea


    Tender Heart

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  • 858 posts

Posted 03 March 2004 - 07:17 PM

Just for the record, I'd be willing to bet you are not crazy! smile.gif Scared, frustrated, confused, angry, alone, now those things I bet you are feeling! when you are ready, these things will start to come to you. The body is an amazing thing, and I tend to believe for the most part, it won't let us remember what we aren't ready to remember. Just keep talking, posting here, and maybe some writing, and I hope you will find that you free your mind and your spirit. Welcome...

#3 Clarissa


    Little Dancing Butterfly

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  • 1,122 posts

Posted 04 March 2004 - 01:14 AM

(((marie)))Welcome to After Silence. smile.gif I understand where you come from. i was there when i first started to deal too... only remembering pieces (and to this day, i cant remember everything...but some things, i figure, and best not remembered.. i think i'm still scared to remember everything... just remembering what you need to heal is a great start). You are definately not crazy, sweetie. I love what Lilea posted. =) Eventually, this big tangled ball of "stuff" will start to unravel-- memories, feelings, etc. I know it feels like it's all tangled up and you wouldnt even know where to start trying to unravel it all...but it can be done. *hugs* Counsellors are great..but only good ones. tongue.gif i had 4 before finding a good one... but once you find a good one, healing is so much easier. We are all here for you. I hope you find what you're searching for here. I hope you find support and healing as i have. Please let me know if you ever need anything. *hugs*
love clarissa

#4 phoenyx


    Native Spirit in the wind

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  • 1,249 posts

Posted 04 March 2004 - 10:09 AM

((((marie)))) Welcome to the group. Fragments, shards, pieces of the past-I can relate - still they come that way, not in big pictures like I want them too. You are not going crazy. Know that you do not journey alone. We are here for you. Be kind to yourself as you heal smile.gif