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Guest marie

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4 posts in this topic

hi i wish that i had more. but thats my problem. i have only have bits and pieces of my past. but i have all the symptoms and defense mechinisms you can imagine. i have been to three different counselors. and the last on believes that i have bpd. i have had very bad expirences in relationships and have a difficult time un trusting anyone. even myself. fear and all the lies ive told cloud my past. and now they wont let me be. im a prisoner in my mind. how do i get to my past. so i can get to the real me. i do believe that things happened. but i wont let myself remember. please help. i feel like im going crazy.or am i?

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Just for the record, I'd be willing to bet you are not crazy! :) Scared, frustrated, confused, angry, alone, now those things I bet you are feeling! when you are ready, these things will start to come to you. The body is an amazing thing, and I tend to believe for the most part, it won't let us remember what we aren't ready to remember. Just keep talking, posting here, and maybe some writing, and I hope you will find that you free your mind and your spirit. Welcome...

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(((marie)))Welcome to After Silence. :) I understand where you come from. i was there when i first started to deal too... only remembering pieces (and to this day, i cant remember everything...but some things, i figure, and best not remembered.. i think i'm still scared to remember everything... just remembering what you need to heal is a great start). You are definately not crazy, sweetie. I love what Lilea posted. =) Eventually, this big tangled ball of "stuff" will start to unravel-- memories, feelings, etc. I know it feels like it's all tangled up and you wouldnt even know where to start trying to unravel it all...but it can be done. *hugs* Counsellors are great..but only good ones. :P i had 4 before finding a good one... but once you find a good one, healing is so much easier. We are all here for you. I hope you find what you're searching for here. I hope you find support and healing as i have. Please let me know if you ever need anything. *hugs*

love clarissa

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((((marie)))) Welcome to the group. Fragments, shards, pieces of the past-I can relate - still they come that way, not in big pictures like I want them too. You are not going crazy. Know that you do not journey alone. We are here for you. Be kind to yourself as you heal :)

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