A Bit About Me

[lkg4btrlife]

I am 30 year old mother of 3 boys and 2 girls. I have lost all but the oldest to the sytems for my mental health issues stemming mostly from childhood abuse. I am in the process of regaining full rights to my 15 year old who has never been in the system and has lived with my mom since he was born. He has lived with my brother for a bit over a year before moving in with me back in September 2009. Things are going well but we are learning to live again. I am here to get my voice about my childhood out there and gain support from others who know what i have lived with. I have not done much regarding disclosure or processing my experiences but I have written bits and pieces here and there throughout my 24 years of therapy and treatment. I have been in the system almost my whole life and am ready to work through this stuff instead of hiding and running from it when it intrudes my life and my stability. I am the more stable with my life than I have ever been currently and believe that working through some of my past may help me progress further with my life desires. I am not saying life is perfect or that I still do not feel hopeless a major part of my life but I have more hope now than I have ever had.

[littlegirllost4ever]

I don't know a lot about the system or anything like that and I hope you may get better and get your children home. I just wanted to say welcome to AS. We are all here to support one another.

[whimsical1]

welcome to as, life.

if you'd like, get to know some of the adult survivors by clicking the link below.

http://www.aftersilence.org/forum/index.php?showtopic=54369

[~FOUND~]

Hi there.

Welcome to AS.

I hope you find this site to be helpful.

Found

[MidnightSunshine531]

welcome to AS

[lkg4btrlife]

I don't know a lot about the system or anything like that and I hope you may get better and get your children home. I just wanted to say welcome to AS. We are all here to support one another.

It is too late to get the 4 little ones back. I could not get my mental health in control so I lost them. I had appeals but felt it was better to let go and allow them to move on with their lives. I wanted them but I wanted what was best for them and at that time it was best for them to be adopted out then for me to keep fighting and losing in the courts and letting them be in limbo not being able to settle down and stabilize their own lives. that was the least i could do i guess. i want them to have better than what i had and what i could provide. though i love them dearly that was what i had to do for them.

Now i have progressed in my stability a few years later and in order for me to fully be able to stabilize and grow i need to begin and continue working on my demons that have haunted me my whole life and that i have avoided facing. I want to be able to be my babies mom when they seek me out as they age into adults. i do not want to be unable to face my fears, handle stress and my emotions, or be where i was when i lost them. i have come along way in these few years but have a longer journey to take.

[Guest SaraElizabeth]

Hi and welcome to AS

My name is Sara and I'm a member of the Newbie Support Team here at AfterSilence, so if you have any questions or problems then feel free to send me a message and I'll do my best to help you out.

I'm sorry for what you've had to endure over the years, and I'm glad you feel ready to speak out. I hope being a member of this site helps you to do that, and begin to move you into a more positive phase of your life

Take good care,

Sara x

[Lynn4]

I'm so happy that you are feeling more hopeful. I hope you feel welcomed here as you continue to heal.