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preciousPearl

By preciousPearl,
in Public: Welcome!

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preciousPearl

preciousPearl

Posted
Posted

Hi everyone. I'm new to AS.

I'm 31 years old and was raped by a guy I brought home with me in 2005. I told some friends, but was really confused about the whole situation and blamed myself for what had happened for a long time... for being drunk... for getting myself into a bad situation.... for not having known better than to trust someone who purposefully tried to get me to let down my guard and deceive me.

Anyway, I survived.... and held it together.... I thought! Until things started to fall apart a few months ago. I lost a great job that I had (and had lost many other things in the meantime. friends, my health, my feelings of safety and trust, believing my opinion on ANYTHING, and a guy that I really liked who knew I wasn't telling him something, but didn't know what.) But I'm glad in a way, because this has forced me to face some of this, and NAME what happened to me. It ain't pretty, but you know what, life isn't always..... I will never be the same, and don't know yet how I will be different (and better!) Still scared about how much I've lost through this.

I hope to get through to the other side someday soon. I hope all of you do too.... and look forward to meeting you and doing it together.

Hugs,

Pearl

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Ladybug

Ladybug

Posted
Posted

You have to let go of the guilt. He hurt you. You are the victim. Do not be ashamed. How many of us get drunk. I sure have. That does not give any man the right to do that to you. A good person would have just taken you home knowing your condition. He should be ashamed. He has to live with what he did. By hiding it you are still giving him more power over you. Get mad at him not yourself. You were abused. You were taken advantage of. You are INNOCENT. It is as if someone came and stole your purse from you. Would you say, oh, I shouldn't have carried a purse, how foolish of me. Of course not. You would be able to tell other trusted family members about that. Just because this is sexual we get embarrassed. Of course, I did too. Soon you have to realize that, yes what HE did is embarassing, but you are still the victim. Stand up for yourself. Once you do, your family will too. Then you can heal and get the comfort and love that you need to move on. I know it is hard to do and scary too. You fear rejection. Maybe some will. My parents did. Why didn't she fight I overheard them say. But I promise you someone will be supportive and will help you. You are going to have to tune out the bad and embrace the ones who will comfort you. Oh, by the way you already have one supporter on your side...me.

Hi everyone. I'm new to AS.

I'm 31 years old and was raped by a guy I brought home with me in 2005. I told some friends, but was really confused about the whole situation and blamed myself for what had happened for a long time... for being drunk... for getting myself into a bad situation.... for not having known better than to trust someone who purposefully tried to get me to let down my guard and deceive me.

Anyway, I survived.... and held it together.... I thought! Until things started to fall apart a few months ago. I lost a great job that I had (and had lost many other things in the meantime. friends, my health, my feelings of safety and trust, believing my opinion on ANYTHING, and a guy that I really liked who knew I wasn't telling him something, but didn't know what.) But I'm glad in a way, because this has forced me to face some of this, and NAME what happened to me. It ain't pretty, but you know what, life isn't always..... I will never be the same, and don't know yet how I will be different (and better!) Still scared about how much I've lost through this.

I hope to get through to the other side someday soon. I hope all of you do too.... and look forward to meeting you and doing it together.

Hugs,

Pearl

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John

John

Posted
Posted

Hey Pearl :hug:

Welcome to AfterSilence :bighug:

I am sorry for what you went through, please know that it wasn't your fault, I too tried to hold it all togeather when it happened to me, and I do so for a while, but eventually after affecting my life so much, it resurfaced, but by doing so, it has allowed me to work through what happened to me, and I am healing from it, which is an awesome feelings :bighug:

Please know you aren't alone here at AS, we are all here to support you through these hard times, and please know that people here are so lovely and really do care about there fellow members. I look forward to getting to know you better, and I hope I can help in your healing :hug:

Take gentle care, and feel free to PM me anytime :)

John

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hollygolightly

hollygolightly

Posted
Posted

Hey Pearl,

Welcome to AS :flowers: !

I'm so sorry for what you have gone through. I hope you will get the support and help you deserve, but you will for sure get it here.

Best wishes,

Holly :luck:

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teazle

teazle

Posted
Posted

Hi Pearl and welcome to AS

I'm so sorry for what you went through, and that you're now dealing with the aftermath, but I hope that we can be of some help in beginning to face what happened and deal with the emotions.

Feel free to PM me if you need anything

take care of yourself

teazle

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preciousPearl

preciousPearl

Posted
  • Author
Posted

thank you everyone... it really means a lot to me to find this community. I think the support really has the potential to be life-changing. thank you for your kindness and support. we will all make it through this together, i know!

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jssister

jssister

Posted
Posted

Hi

This is my first time here today and I'm sure I'm in the wrong place to be posting my message

I personally was not sexually abused. My brother, who is 35 has had a hard, traumatic life and our family has never really understood why he couldn't seem "to get it together". Recently, for his own reasons he told us(some of us) that when he was 10 (on 2 different ocassions) that he was raped by a boy that he knew who was several years older. My brother has been suicidal several times and his way to deal with this all is to move 3000 miles away. He won't tell anyone in my family any details of his experience and certainly not who it was but he did tell me. I don't know why he chose to tell me but I don't know what to do with this information or what to tell him. This is all just starting to come out now. He says that he can't keep it inside anymore or he's going to end up killing himself. That is a terrifying thought especially considering he's so far away. From what I've been able to see in him he is dealing with this pain by drinking. He drinks alot which to me just seems to compound the problem but I can understand why. Drinking helps you not to feel.

Can anyone give me some guidance or point me in the right direction. I"m sorry if I"m infringing on another's posting. I'm not especially computer literate and make mistakes

Thanks

J's sister

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