I Hope This Is Ok...

[Drasta]

I... don't really know if this is allowed on here. If it's not, please dont flame me or anything.

I'm not a rape survivor myself. But my aime, Ray, is. She was raped at the age of nine by her "Friend". I have'nt gotten many details other then she was "used entirely" and left for dead.

From the way she talks to me, she's gotten over most of it. Not all, but most. Well, so she says...

I guess the reason I'm here is for me more then her. Not trying to sound selfish here, but... I cant stop seeing it. I wasnt around her then, so i dont know what really happened. Leaves my mind with plenty to work with. I have dreams every night of her being raped. Each time it kills me a little. I know, I wasnt the one who was raped so i dont have any right to this, but I feel so helpless. I know she's in pain, whether she admits it or not. And all I want to do is help her. But I dont know how. She says she trusts me with her life, but I'm terrified of hurting her like he did.

(Crap, just noticed something

I dont know why I put this here. Just had to get it out. I know worrying about myself is selfish and pathetic of me.

Also... were in an online relationship, if it matters. We havent met yet in real life, but plan to this year. So theres been no sexual contact between us.

On a likely more important note, if you need more info on her, just ask. She wont come to these sites herself (she hates seeing how its happened to others.)

(Crap, just noticed one of the rules. if this is worth keeping, can a mod move it to the right place?)

Edited April 27, 2008 by Drasta

[sonnet]

hi,,

just wanted to welcome ya here...

u sound like you care very much for her, im glad she has u as support

you do have every right to feel hurt by this..its a horrible thing to have happen to sombody you care for, and of course its gonna be very upseting for you.

thinking of ya and glad u joined up

xxx

[Graice]

Hi Drasta

Welcome here to AS hon...Im glad your here and that youve found us..Im very sorry that your struggling so much and that someone you care for was raped..Its very hard and very good that your reaching out too...We are a very supportive and caring bunch

big hugs

graice

[probably]

Hello and welcome to AS

[PrimitiveExposure]

Personally, I don't think it's offensive or selfish of you to feel this way. Your mind is reacting to something terrible that has happened to a loved one. In my eyes, it shows your compassion and respect for her as a person.

Welcome to AS.

[John]

Drasta,

Welcome to AfterSilence,

You sound like a very good person to have in your friends life, and I am very glad that she has you, and it is perfectly fine to feel as if it hurts you to, rape has an affect to everyone who is in contact with the survivor, and it is perfectly fine to feel upset about what happened to her, it's perfectly natural to feel this way

We are here to you also - We have a Secondary Survivor forum specifically for this reason

Take gentle care, and feel free to PM me at anytime

John

[Saltywaters]

Hi Drasta,

Welcome!!

I hope you feel at home soon.

Hun, we have lots of secondary survivors here, and you have the right to be here and share your feelings. Rape is a very big deal, for the survivor, but also for those around the survivor. We have a "Secondary Survivors" forum esp for the loved ones of survivors.

It's good to see that your friend has someone in her corner. That's an awesome thing to do of you.

Feel free to ask questions if you have them, ok?

Jo

Edited April 28, 2008 by Saltywaters

[*buttafly*]

Hello and welcome

Secondary survivors are always welcome. Its great to see you being supportive of your friend.

Warm wishes and squishy hugs

[Drasta]

Thank you all, truly. I'm glad I found a forum that cares and doesnt flame everyone to hell. (Been on GameFAQs too longI guess.)

I know it may not be proper for this site, but is there anywhere here (probably the secondary survivors area, but I want to be sure.) where I can ask for help on somewhat more... intimate things? I'm honestly terrified of bringing back... past memories when we are finally together.

[oui,mais]

Hey!!

Welcome to AS!!

if ok??

[sonnet]

hi again drasta

its perfectly ok to talk about the things you want to talk about here...rthe secondery survivors sect would be the right place ot post...shows a lot of care and respect to her that you want ot ask these things and gain insight from a survovors perspective

xxx