Personally, I don't think it's offensive or selfish of you to feel this way. Your mind is reacting to something terrible that has happened to a loved one. In my eyes, it shows your compassion and respect for her as a person.
Welcome to AS.
I'm new here. I am a college student and I have been living in silence for three years, besides confiding in my current boyfriend of two years. I've started therapy this year and my family still doesn't know anything. The only other person who knows besides my boyfriend is one of my longest surviving friendships from middle school. I'm looking for support outside of these two people for bad nights and for aid in celebration of triumphs .