Hello

[me1]

Hello All,

This is all a bit strange for me and I'm not really sure what I'm expecting to achieve. I have a bit of an odd situation. I have shown many many of the difficulties associated with having suffered abuse as a child. Since I was 4 or 5 years old there has been something "wrong". A few years ago someone close to me said they think I may have been sexually abused (they themselves had been) and it rang true, but I have no memory of anything happening. In fact I don't remember very much of my childhood other than some snapshots and odd behaviours on my part. I hope no-one feels I'm wasting their time, but I just need to find out...is it possible that it happened if I have no memory of it happening?

Thanks.

Me

[dodo]

Hi and welcome to AS

best wishes

karen

[sonnet]

hey hun, welcome to AS

I hope being here helps you start to find out more about yourself.

[Survivors sanctuary]

In fact I don't remember very much of my childhood other than some snapshots and odd behaviours on my part. I hope no-one feels I'm wasting their time, but I just need to find out...is it possible that it happened if I have no memory of it happening?

Welcome to AS, many people feel as you have described here, it is farily common so you are not wasting anyones time.

Some children will block out what happened to them, but often the emotional feelings like you descibe remain ...

Some chldren will remember what happened but block out the feelings ...

However a child reacts is their way of coping with the trauma at the time ..

Many of us want to remember things now, if nothing else to get over it so we don't feel pain any more, but the memories will come back when you are ready, the mind is great at protecting itself even if it seems overwhelming at times ..

AS helps us in many ways, it can provide support by those that understand there are times when we don't have anything *concrete* to go on but we know something is bothering us. It can povide support for the moments when it seems too overwhelming because when it comes to these issues we have an idea of what is happening and therefore you don't get the judgement that can often happen by those that don't understand ...

And another important thing about a place like AS, you gain back some control over your life, just by joining, even if a person doesn't post, the member has taken a positive steop in reclaimimg a part of themseleves, every time that step grows into another step we take back even more of what belongs to us, our right to remember and not feel guilty over what happened, when we do that we start to heal and find joy in life .. I hope you can do the same ..

[angelic]

[probably]

Hello and welcome to AS

I would say not remembering is very possible. It is one of coping technics. You will probably remember when you will be ready

[Justice Fighter]

welcome to AS

JT

[bernadettem]

I think so. I'm new too. Please see my post below yours....and welcome

[sisterinsurvival]

Hi Me,

It is very possilbe. Much of my childhood was traumatic and not just of the CSA (childhood sexual assualt) variety. My aunt and uncle were both alcoholics and used drugs and were constantly around. I know many of the awful times with them I have repressed. I am 38 and just the other day my mom was discussing one of the situations we endured with my uncle when I was 15 and I honestly did not remember it.

It seems that I have only snippets of memories of my early years and evidentally into my teens as well. Does this make me a little strange or sick. I think not. As someone else mentioned, it is a normal protective mechanism that our mind uses to help keep us safe when we feel so overwhelmed. I actually have, within the last little while, gotten a bit of a memory of something back that I have never recalled, and it was quite frightening. Am I crazy...No, I am a wife, mom, student, full-time teacher, active in my church...and a CSA survivor.

I hope that AfterSilence can become a source of comfort for you, and serve as a vehicle of discovery as well as recovery if need be.

[Katia60]

Hi,

Welcome to AS.

Yes it is possible. I recommend reading the book "the courage to heal" and am sure you will find a lot to relate to. Glad you are here. Good and healing thoughts to you.

Kate

[drowning000]

Welcome to AS

Please know you are most definately welcome here!!

[YourFullPotential]

Find comfort in knowing you are unconditionally loved and accepted here