I’m new here

[tmac]

I am not sure if I am posting correctly. But Hi, I guess I’ll go by T here please. My experiences were about 5 years ago. The worst one still affects me to this day in my relationship of 2 years and in my every day life. Ranging from panic attacks sourced from reoccurring memories or full on mental breakdowns from all of my emotions triggered by the flashbacks to issues with my current s*x life. It greatly affected my social life, my personal relationships, my home life, familial relationships- everything. I never dealt with the trauma because I never knew how to. I was seeing a therapist at the time but I told her nothing about the incidents because I was scared that she might tell my mother because at the time I was a minor and that my mother would get mad at me for it all. I also recently had a conversation with my mom about the president and the allegations against him. I asked her if I told her that someone who was running for office had taken advantage of me, would she believe me or still vote for them and she said that she would need proof from me first. To hear that from my own mother as a survivor was one of the most heartbreaking things she has ever said to me. I am with a therapist now, and I have informed her of my experiences, but she says the only solution is to pretend like my offender is sitting in a chair and “give him a piece of my mind” and to tell him how I feel about him and etc. When I told her that I don’t think that will help me and asked if there was anything else I could do, she basically told me no. Which is just another let down. I am feeling more hopeless than ever. I am stuck with this trauma and have absolutely no idea how to process it, deal with it, or most importantly heal from it. I have come here from a crisis counselor post on reddit. I am searching for something, anything that could help me get through this constant itch in my brain. 

[MeBeMary]

Hi T,

Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry for the awful experiences you endured about 5 years ago. You did nothing wrong and it is unfair and wrong these things were done to you. You are not alone. Our community is filled with supportive, understanding and kind members. Many have shared similar experiences, and most have experienced similar struggles. To say what you go thru is sadly common is sadly true. You are not alone tho.

I am sorry that your mother doesn't seem to be open. A mother's faith in their child should be first and foremost, but sometimes they too, are unopen to hear uncomfortable experiences and refuse to support. You should not need proof for your mother. Do know you saying so is proof enough here.

From what you mentioned about your therapist, she doesn't seem like a trauma specialist. If so, perhaps her limited specialty is not adequate for proper healing support. There are many ways a true trauma specialist could suggest. Letting out anger is not a bad thing, just not enough when someone has taken your rights away and hurt you so deeply. If she is not a trauma specialist, perhaps it is something to think about? We here tho, will support and validate you as much as you need and more.

I am glad that you have found our site and decided to join. It is a big step to reach out to others and I wish you many more steps forward on this path of healing.

Mary

 

[missfrier]

Dear tmac

Welcome to After Silence.  I am sorry to hear of the trauma you have been through!

Being here has helped me so much.   Everyone is so caring and supportive here.  I am proud of you for reaching out.  I know that is hard to do.  I also know that you will find that needed compassion and support here within our community.  Know we are here for you and we will listen whenever you would like to lean on us.    

Take care and please do not hesitate to ask for any help if you ever

[8888]

Welcome @tmac to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  I'm sorry to hear you are having issues with your mother as well.  Regarding the therapist, I want you to know that if you find a decent therapist there is a lot more they should be able to do.  I went to trauma therapy for a while and it was much more than just imaging giving my abuser a piece of my mind, it was also about reprocessing memories so they don't hurt me as much, finding healthier ways to cope with the affects of abuse, and many other things.  Take your time exploring here and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

[WannaMoveOn]

22 hours ago, tmac said:

I am not sure if I am posting correctly. But Hi, I guess I’ll go by T here please. My experiences were about 5 years ago. The worst one still affects me to this day in my relationship of 2 years and in my every day life. Ranging from panic attacks sourced from reoccurring memories or full on mental breakdowns from all of my emotions triggered by the flashbacks to issues with my current s*x life. It greatly affected my social life, my personal relationships, my home life, familial relationships- everything. I never dealt with the trauma because I never knew how to. I was seeing a therapist at the time but I told her nothing about the incidents because I was scared that she might tell my mother because at the time I was a minor and that my mother would get mad at me for it all. I also recently had a conversation with my mom about the president and the allegations against him. I asked her if I told her that someone who was running for office had taken advantage of me, would she believe me or still vote for them and she said that she would need proof from me first. To hear that from my own mother as a survivor was one of the most heartbreaking things she has ever said to me. I am with a therapist now, and I have informed her of my experiences, but she says the only solution is to pretend like my offender is sitting in a chair and “give him a piece of my mind” and to tell him how I feel about him and etc. When I told her that I don’t think that will help me and asked if there was anything else I could do, she basically told me no. Which is just another let down. I am feeling more hopeless than ever. I am stuck with this trauma and have absolutely no idea how to process it, deal with it, or most importantly heal from it. I have come here from a crisis counselor post on reddit. I am searching for something, anything that could help me get through this constant itch in my brain. 

Hello, I am Wanna. 

Your story is your story, you own it. This community is an understanding and safe place. Our platform carries a wide diversity of survivors, and our members form a wonderful support system. 

There are several ways to process trauma, so I encourage you to research and inform yourself about different types of techniques. It is of importance that you feel safe and comfortable as you open up.

I sympathize with you and  want to welcome you to After Silence. This platform is here for you, and know we are happy to have you. Feel free to reach out to me. 🌻

Stay safe and all best

- Wanna ☀️