Hello, new member here.

[Throne]

Not exactly great at introductions, but here goes nothing...

Hi there. My name is Nikita, but you can call me Niki or Pepper. I'm a survivor of numerous sexual assaults, by two men, whom of which were my supervisors at my place of employment. The most recent happening in July, a week before my 21^st birthday. I've come to the final phase (renewal phase) with the first three sexual assaults by my first supervisor. But, now, two years later, I've got a new, fresh open wound, which I feel like is going to be a lot more difficult to come to the renewal phase, because not only was he my supervisor, he once was which I thought, a friend, and at one point, he was a friend with benefits. What I didn't know though during the whole time, was that he is also a sociopath. Right now, I am going through the integration phase, which seems never ending, especially with my anger, which I don't know how to control, since I've "bottled" up my anger ever since I was a child. However, that "bottle" is now broken. It doesn't help that I have mental health issues, either (Major Depressive Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, Insomnia).

Anyway, I'm hoping that I can find others in a similar situation, and to be helped and to help, to understand. To heal.

Thanks.

[MeBeMary]

Hi Niki,

Welcome to AS. I am sorry for all the traumas you have suffered. They had no right to hurt you as you did. I am very sorry for the one you considered a friend, as a friend will not hurt another friend like this. I wish I could say it was uncommon, but many of us bottle up emotions and similar struggles as you, so we will be able to relate. I am glad you have found us, as I do know it is a big step to reach out. I wish you many more forward steps in this journey we call healing.

Mary

[Tannyluck]

Hi and welcome to AS! I hope you find our community informative/supportive. I wish you well on your healing journey.

 

[phoenixxx]

Welcome to AS, Niki. I am so sorry for all that you went through. I am glad you found AS and are reaching out to us here. This is a very supportive environment to do exactly what you said you were looking for. To help and be helped, to understand and to heal. 

[Struggling88]

Hi, Niki, and welcome!