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About Tess20

  • Birthday 02/08/1991

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  • Location
    Ontario, Canada
  • Interests
    Music, poetry, writing, singing, art, painting, drawing, tattooing!

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  1. Thank you... Im glad I found AS! I feel so lost!
  2. Thank you. Sometimes Im not so sure it will get better... it's been 3 years since it happened... but what really makes it hard is that my 2 1/2 year old son was conceived during one of those nights, the lowest time in my life... I know I will never be able to forget or heal completely. I love my son even though I never loved his "father"... it's so hard... :'(
  3. All I feel like doing right now is crying but I feel so numb... :'( kind of really need someone to talk to... ALL ALONE FEELING DESPERATELY DEPRESSED :'(
  4. Omg! I am so relieved to hear that You and others do this as well! I really thought there was something really wrong with me for doing that! I wish I could understand why we do that... Maybe it's because triggering makes us cry (does for me anyway) and sometimes thats exactly what we need, just to cry and scream and remember and get it off our chests! And sometimes it just feels like you need to tell people everything just to get it out, and to here someone say they care and it's going to be ok (even though I often get mad when people say that because I feel like they don't understand what it feels like to be sooo hurt...) I think triggering ourselves on purpose must be just a way of getting all that built up pain and tears out when we start to feel overwhelmed or even when we start to feel numb... thats another reason I do it. I feel so numb sometimes it seems like I need to feel something, anything, even if its the most painful thing, just to know I still feel something.... "Pain- Id rather pain than nothing at all..."
  5. hmm... I'd ask him: Do you ever feel guilty?
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