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Setrain

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About Setrain

  • Birthday 12/23/1981

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Washington DC

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  • MembershipType
    Survivor

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  1. Lot's of people come here to talk about old stuff. I hope we can help, and it sounds like we can. Welcome to AS.
  2. Lots of people posting about bad feelings and other people posting supportive comments. A fair amount of giving each other advice, usually pretty good, but not always perfect. Lots of posting unusual symptoms or feelings or details of what happened and almost always finding somebody to tell you you're not the only one. Lots of helping each other believe that what happened was not their fault; lots of people post their reasons for blaming themselves hoping for reassurance and inevitably get it. A real sense of community where everybody around you has similar experiences. On the other hand there are lots of triggering stories and thoughts, though they are mostly well warned. And there is always somebody with a worse-sounding story than you, so tons of people struggle with worrying if they what happened to them was bad enough to be here. Still, I've never seen anybody actually feel excluded by other people here, only by their own worries. Overall it's supportive and loving, but can be very intense. Overall this place has been good for me and I think it's good for most people, but most people also eventually get overwhelmed and need a break from it. And when you start to feel a little bit better, it can be very rewarding to come back and help people who are new and just starting out. I hope that helps you get a sense, and I hope that we can help and that you decide to stay. Good luck in the next stage in your journey, either way.
  3. Setrain

    New

    Hi, welcome to the forums. This actually is more typical than you realize. Most people don't fight back much and most people feel that they didn't say no loud enough. We are taught to be nice and non-confrontational and it's hard to overcome that in situations where the other person is being completely unreasonable. I'm pretty sure this is the main reason why so many people don't tell. So you're definitely not alone. I certainly didn't fight back much, and I blamed myself for a really long time. Spend much time here and you will realize that that's usually how it happens. I hope we can be helpful to you here.
  4. I think this would be useful too. I feel like the "less bad" types are actually really important to have, because people here really struggle with feeling validated to talk about less extreme experiences. I love the SA without physical violence thread for that reason. Its explicitly a way to feel like it still counts.
  5. I could really use this thread too.
  6. Wow, lots of response. Y'all are awesome. Thanks. Calliehere: no need to apologize. You've already helped me a lot. Briarrosa: tell me more about the inner child stuff please. Also safe hugs accepted and appreciated.
  7. Calliehere: Yes that's exactly the sort of thing I'm talking about. Why do you think we do that? It doesn't feel unhealthy to me, it feels necessary. But I don't know what it accomplishes. Do you think its because people didn't listen to or believe me. Am I trying to prove its real? You don't have to answer but I'm curious whether you had the same problem of not being listened to or believed.
  8. Thanks you all. There is so much stuff here. I'm just trying to make progress through all the boards, responding where I have something to say. I'm kinda excited and want to do everything.
  9. to minute: not my whole life, but for the last 10 years. to JaneSays: I have a therapist and we get useful stuff done, but telling him stuff doesn't feel like telling. He's so professional; there's no emotional response. I don't know the emotional response I want, but like... the guy is just doing his job. He'd have to listen no matter what it was saying. It doesn't make me feel like what I'm saying matters, when there are so many others who have ignored me or failed to understand.
  10. Right so this is probably triggering itself. I finally decided to come here to ask this question because there are so many people here somebody has to understand. I'm PTSD. I'm hypervigilant and have flashbacks. But I don't avoid reminders I seek them hard, in art in news places people... I kept coming back over and over to the place I was molested. I look at pictures of myself at that age and look in vain for pictures of the babysitter who abused me. I stay up all night reading about kids getting hurt. I can't stop talking about it; I'm never done. Its like the Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner. I guess I feel the world doesn't believe me or thinks it doesn't matter. Not even really the people, just the world the audience, God or something. God thinks I'm a whiner and should get over it. So I can never let myself forget or like it won't even be true anymore and I'll just be broken for no reason. How do I make God listen. How do I make my dad listen? How do I give up on making my dad listen? When will I feel done? When is this going to stop being the most topical thing in the world, the most important thing to be thinking about no matter what? Does anyone else here feel like this?
  11. Hi, I'm going by Setrain, the name of the kid hero in the first story I ever wrote as a kid with a happy ending (though a really sad middle). It seems appropriate. This is my second forum like this, but the first sort of drifted apart and closed down. I miss it a lot and this place seems big and well run enough to last. So: hi.
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