Lil' Tribble

Well as a victim of child abuse, there are a lot of factors. Child abuse can consist of anything from physical violence, verbal chastising, physical isolation from others, sexual assault, neglect, etc. done by a parent to a child. I was physically, verbally and emotionally abused by mother my entire childhood. Many other survivors of child abuse don't think they were really abused because their parents called it "corporal punishment". Any sort of intentional physical harm done to a child by a parent is child abuse. Many abusers don't physically harm their children. Survivors often don't think they were actually abused because the abuse wasn't physical. Emotional/verbal abusers often isolate and control their children to an extreme. Their children often have little to no friends, they are consistently yelled at by their parents, belittled and made to feels worthless, and in extreme cases, even physically prevented from leaving the home through coercion and manipulation. There is also the sexual abuse element. Any type of sexual behavior by a parent towards their child is child abuse. Neglect is a huge part of child abuse that really isn't discussed enough. Many child abuse survivors were neglected by a parent. Whether a child was left at home on a regular basis at a inappropriate age, not fed or physically taken care of on a regular basis, or left unsupervised for long periods of time on a regular basis, neglect is child abuse. All of this constitutes child abuse. No one should ever feel ashamed or guilty about being a survivor of child abuse. It is not your fault. The blame, guilt and shame lies solely on the shoulder of your abuser.

Hi, I'm Kate, 

if it is permitted, i would like to say that, as a child whose parents enacted corporal punishment, i would not call it abuse. I knew the rules of my parents' home and i disobeyed them. My parents never hit me out of anger, they never lost their tempers with me. I am not afraid of my parents. I am a well rounded woman. Although i was on the receiving end of abuse, it did not come from my parents. Anyway, In my opinion physical punishment becomes abuse when there is no real reason to be punishing the child. 

For example, i knew better than to run into the street without looking. But as a forgetful child and often ditsy i didn't look. I was almost hit by a truck. Luckily my mother was nearby. She saved me from getting squooshed by yanking me away from the road by my arm. It certainly did hurt, and right after she screamed at me and smacked my butt with her open palm. I was scared in that moment, not because my mother was abusing me, but because my mother's fear of losing her daughter was tangible. I could feel her love and i knew she wanted to impress the importance of "looking both ways" upon me. Needless to say, i never ran out into traffic without looking first ever again. 

I understand this isn't the best example but it is what i could think of in this moment.I also understand that not all children had experiences like mine with corporal punishment. There were other moments my parents used techniques many people would claim to be abusive, but i don't see it that way. Mom and Dad always attempted other discipline strategies first(time out...loss of privileges...grounding etc) . I agree that corporal punishment should always be a last resort, but if used correctly could still be a constructive tool in raising a child.