I'm Wasting My Life

[StormyPugs]

I don't consider myself a survivor. What happened to me wasn't as bad as what others here had to live though. My heart goes out to each and every one of you.

But... I can't forget what I let happen. It won't go away, I think of it everyday and I have so much shame and guilt. I can't function as an adult, I'm letting my life pass me by while I hide out in my apartment. I don't have any friends around here. I'm not on any meds and I don't see a therapist. I don't work even though we need the income really badly. I just can't get out and see people and get a job... im weird. I just don't know how to move on with my life and be happy.

[angel123]

Oh hun....you are a survivor, please dont think that your story is less important then anyone elses here, even though all our stories are different, the hurt and the pain is the same, so please dont feel what happened to you is not as bad as others here....you deserve to be here, you deserve to be heard, so please just keep reaching out sweet one.....

lol Sharon xxx

[StormyPugs]

Thanks Sharon, I don't mean to be annoying. I'm so lost in my life. I don't know how to pull myself back up outta this hole. It's hard for me to reach out and not keep everything always inside hidden away. I wished he had never messed with my life, I'm the person I am because of what he did to me. I wish I knew a way to change that. I dunno

[angel123]

Your not annoying hun, your just hurting. I dont have any magic words or ideas on how we get ourselves out of the holes as you put it....but one thing i do know, all we can do is take it one step at a time, one minute, one hour etc etc...we have to hun, we cant keep letting these evil b**tards win, we have to be stronger then them....Im sorry im not much help, im still trying to work it out myself but i just wanted you to know i hear you and im still listening sweet one...

Lol Sharon x

[probably]

Hello and welcome to AS

[silenced42long]

Hi and Welcome to AS!!

[SeckunClass]

look behind you. Step one accomplished. You're alive and you're on this forum. REad the wealth of info here and connect

Bless you and welcome

[Grapefruit]

Hi, I this is my first post. Stormy, I understand what you are saying but what helps me is talking about it, especially with people that do not judge or say that my story is too unbelievable.

I consider the fact that I "can't forget" means that is a clue to myself to keep working on things and be sure to love and accept myself in the process.

MC Survivor,

Grapefruit

[StormyPugs]

thank you all, you are a great help Sharon. Grapefruit, thanks I guess I have a long way since I don't love myself. Thanks for posting.

[OnAhead]

Whatever you've been through is not who you are, but rather just a part of you. That's how I like to look at it. Things that are not your fault have happened to you and nothing you do can change the past. But you are still in control of your future. You're brave for breaking your silence and talking on tis group. That alone is a huge accomlishment and a step in the right direction! I'm not saying that it's easy to face, because it's not and I still struggle daily, but I can tell you that there are some positives that can come out of a bad situation. For me personally, the rape has allowed me to be more considerate of where others are coming from as well as to be able to truly appreciate what's around me. When you have to fight for your happiness, those moments when you feel good are all the more worth while. Hang in there. You're brave for joining and beginning to face things!

[John]

Hey StormyPugs,

Welcome to AfterSilence

Here at AS we don't say, someone has had worst abuse then someone else, we don't rate the severity of each others abuse against one another, we have all suffered some kind of abuse and we're all wanting to overcome that abuse and it's aftermath so we can live the lives we deserve.

I hope you find the support you deserve here Remember you're never alone here at AS

[kimbees324]

Stormypugs,

I just wanted to tell you that I am thinking of you. Take care of yourself.

STORMY

[angel123]

(((((((((((((Stormypugs))))))))))))).......just letting you know i was thinking of you and i hope your feeling a wee bit better today, keep reaching out hun...

Lol Sharon x

[aperson]

Welcome to AS!