New to AS-looking for community.

[Ohshemaybeweary]

This is my first post on AS. I'm in therapy right now struggling through unpacking my abusive, sexually damaging, long past relationship and I feel every week like a fresh layer of skin has been peeled back and I'm so much more vulnerable than I was before I started. Vulnerability is uncomfortable for me. 

 

I'm so frustrated by the lack of people who are sensitive to the subtleties I'm working through, but how can you be frustrated when it means that they haven't been sexually transgressed. And that's wonderful for them. Practically a miracle. I'm hoping AS can be a place for support by people saying: yes, it's normal to panic when a man thoughtlessly leans against a bar making it impossible for you to move or leave without asking him to move first. I never thought it would be this chaotic and I'm struggling with how much of the empathy that I was using to help heal others has evaporated with this process. 

 

My my mantra for weeks has been: "tired, sad and scared."

[child]

hello ohshemaybeweary and welcome to AS

[reglois]

    if ok

[republica]

Yes, it is normal to panic when a man restricts your movements! It sounds like you're going through a lot. I hope you can find some comfort here.
 

[Hiddenstars]

Welcome. So sorry for what is bringing you here, but know it is your normal. It is all of our normal. We live in a different reality than everyone else and it is hard for people to understand why things are such a big deal to us when they seem so trivial or weird to others.

I hope you can find some peace here.

[Tannyluck]

Hi and welcome to AS! I'm sorry for the trauma that led you here, but I'm glad you found us. I hope you'll find our community supportive and informative. Sometimes it's nice just to feel like we're not alone in our struggles on our path to healing. Feel free to share as much or as little as you like at your own pace.

[MeBeMary]

18 hours ago, Ohshemaybeweary said:

This is my first post on AS. I'm in therapy right now struggling through unpacking my abusive, sexually damaging, long past relationship and I feel every week like a fresh layer of skin has been peeled back and I'm so much more vulnerable than I was before I started. Vulnerability is uncomfortable for me. 

 

I'm so frustrated by the lack of people who are sensitive to the subtleties I'm working through, but how can you be frustrated when it means that they haven't been sexually transgressed. And that's wonderful for them. Practically a miracle. I'm hoping AS can be a place for support by people saying: yes, it's normal to panic when a man thoughtlessly leans against a bar making it impossible for you to move or leave without asking him to move first. I never thought it would be this chaotic and I'm struggling with how much of the empathy that I was using to help heal others has evaporated with this process. 

 

My my mantra for weeks has been: "tired, sad and scared."

Hi ohshemaybeweary,

Welcome to AS. I am very sorry about the trauma you have suffered and the struggle you are currently going thru because of it. You have found a very supportive and safe site with kind and understanding members. It is horrible that what you describe is normal for survivors, because it should never have been made that way. You are very right when you say that people haven't gone thru it do not understand. I'm glad you have reached out to people who do understand and will be supportive, it was a big step. I wish you well as you take more steps on your healing journey.

Mary

 

[Struggling88]

Hi! Welcome!