Charlee

I've been really triggered lately and couldn't come on here and read peoples posts and respond because its just too triggering. So this lil update here is really all I can post for now. I got my second dose of the Pfizer vaccine yesterday and actually feel pretty fine now, just a sore arm. My depression has lifted a little, its not so overwhelming anymore but my anxiety is terrible, I can't go out without shaking and feeling so tense and I can't talk to people really anymore. My sleep is pretty sporadic, some nights are good, some I don't sleep much at all but at least I haven't had a terrible nightmare in a few weeks now. Therapy is going ok, I've had two sessions now,  I'm trying to be as open and honest about everything, I've never really talked so freely with anyone before but I'm so tired of having these massive walls and not letting anyone in but being so haunted by my past... I still can't imagine a life where I don't feel like this but I guess we shall see.

I had to go outside and collect the bin today and I immediately felt anxious and started shaking, sometimes im ok to go outside but other times it hardly takes anything to trigger my anxiety anymore

feeling pretty awful today anxious, sad, SH urges, not feeling up to working. What a shit year its been.