DolphinBlossom

*MIGHT BE TRIGGERING* I have had nightmares the past two nights. I hate the nightmares sometimes they feel just as bad as the abuse. Tuesdays nightmare was so bad and so real I was actually happy when my alarm went off and woke up saying "Oh thank God." I was so happy to wake up and for the dream not to be real! This morning I woke up and so was relieved when I realized the dream was not real, it felt so real. Tuesdays dream was not about the abuse but it was about one of my abusers coming after me with rage and a terrifying determination to get me. I have never had a dream like this before an

Today is just a bad day. You will have those but as time passes you will have less of them with more good days in between. You are not overreacting this is a very painful process and it takes a long time to heal. I have days where I am in complete denial that anything ever happened to me. I will wake up on some mornings with my first thought being it didn't happen, it's not real, I just made it all up. All along knowing it absolutely did happen. I also have the days I think I am overreacting and I need to just finally shake it off and move on. What you are feeling is normal and what your frien

Sorry it took my so long to reply to you all, my time got away from me. Thank you all for responding and welcoming me so warmly! If any of you need a person to talk too I am here to listen!

Thank you Elle, that is comforting to now.

You are by no means a fraud, we all have to heal in our own ways. I am glad your husband is supportive. We all need support in order to heal but it does concern me that he says it is his right to know everything. It's not his right, it didn't happen to him, it happened to you. It is your right to share what you feel you need to share and when you feel you need to share. But like I said we all need to heal our own way and there is no manual on how to recover. If this works for you than I think that is great but don't ever feel you have to share. There are some days when sharing my story is too

Silentg, You are so right about the "acceptable" illness and being a survivor! So well put, thank you! We should be proud we survived not dirty and taboo!

I am new to all of this. The blog, the forum, the telling of my story. Since this is my first entry I will make it simple, start slow. I am a survivor of abuse, of all abuse. I am one of those people that is a magnet for bad people. I have often explained myself as being put on this earth to be people's dumpster. I am learning to stand up for myself and let people know how I want and deserve to be treated. This is not easy for me. Some days I am great at it other days I can't even gather up the strength or will to defend or care for myself. I have been in therapy for several years. In and out

Hi all! I am am obviously new to this site. I decided to join because 1. I am a survivor and 2. I am looking to connect with other survivors. I feel like no one understands me and what I have been through. They try but unless you have been through it yourself you will never know the pain and suffering it causes. I am tired of people thinking and telling me it is time for me to get over it and move on. I am also tired of feeling like I have to keep my story silent. I don't like feeling like I have a "dirty little secret." I don't want to tell my story to everyone I pass on the street or to most