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1/9/2022


OrigamiFlower

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School is about to start soon. To be completely honest, I am not quite sure if I'm entirely ready for it to start again. I was enjoying the peace after last semester; it was probably the worst set of grades I've had, two B's and 3 C's. I usually am so on it, but with everything going on and finally the calm after the initial storm of everything at once. I am excited to get back on a schedule, but at the same time, I am a little scared of how well I'll focus and how much I can put into this semester. 

I did get back into working out again. It's honestly a huge help, my body is feeling the inexperienced pain it once felt, but its a good burn and I'm glad to be giving my body some care. My previous relationship held me back, he stated that he didn't enjoy me working out because he enjoyed the way I was because I would stay within "his league" and that I should never "tone" my body because he preferred girls with a bigger physique and yet, I am nothing like that to begin with, I am very small and he understood that and always disliked my mentions of interests I had to improve myself, I now realize it was his own insecurities keeping me down. I am above that now.

He still comes to mind a lot. He was an awful person to me and I am severely disappointed in the way he treated me, as if I was his tool to abuse. I am no longer his to control and yet, I have my weak moments where it still feels as if his grasp is around me. I am better than these feelings, but they still hit me from time to time. 

I will be okay, and school will be fine, and soon, hopefully, I'll be able to move in with my partner. ♥️
 

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