I’m 24 and live in the UK. Without going into detail I was abused from the age of 8 to 18. I feel weird even just saying that though. “Abused” What happened to me wasn’t violent and I always just froze and let it happen. There were even times (and I feel such shame admitting this) when I thought it was grown up and exciting even if a little scary, so I feel like when I say “abused” I’m lying somehow or belittling the experiences of people who did suffer violence. Also, he was only ten when it started so I don’t even feel fully comfortable blaming him, although this happened when I was ‘asleep’ so he can’t have thought it was consensual and the last time it happened he was 20. I don’t know. A lot of conflicted feelings and confusion.
Anyway, I’m a bit nervous about joining this community because of that and also because I’m worried if I stop repressing and start addressing what happened I’ll just feel worse, especially since I’ve never confronted him and still see him regularly. I’m hoping this community will be good for me though.
Sorry if this was too long. I ramble when I’m nervous. I’m really looking forward to meeting you all.