I now understand the After Silence part. That's all I understand at this stage.
I would here about stories on TV/Newspapers and the media about people who would open up 10, 15, 20 years later and speak about there abuse or assaults. And I would think " why didn't you just report it at the time or go to the police?"
I realise now.
How do you tell, who would believe you.. Then all the doubts and mind games that bounce around your brain thinking you could have provoked this.
I have never heard of these unfortunate events happening here in my country to a male. But I have found a community in my city that counsel for male assault but I find it would be impossible to speak openly let alone attend.
I am a hetrosexual male and married with a young son. I was working away when this all happened. My wife does not know what happened and it feels like I want to keep it this way. My mind is so screwed up sometimes I had to go back and confirm what hetrosexual was. I know I am straight
It has taken a while but it is out. I will speak of more as I can.
It is 11pm here. Time to take a few sleeping pills and take a ride on the nightmare machine.